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Archive for September, 2006

TM-Net sent a sohai to my house today. This is what the sohai did.

He said, “I come here to confirm your bandwidth, please do me a bandwidth test”.

I turn on MySpeedPC and do a bandwidth test to US Viginia server and it look like this

Streamyx IP 219

This is consider a ‘good’ result out-of-the-bad because I get < 10kbps most of the time. And remember I am using RM88 1mbps package, that is 1024kbps!

He said, “No No, we don’t care about your bandwidth test to the US server, you need to test it at TM-NET site.” …*@#$&*!…

So I have to go to TM-Net site and do a bandwidth test. Of course I get 850kbps. I get that everyday!

I said, “What is the use of having 850kbps in Malaysia only but 10kbps when connecting to international sites?”

He answered, “We don’t care about that, we only look at bandwidth test from TM-Net site. Other than that we don’t care”.

I said, “Then why call it INTERNET and not LOCALNET or MALAYSIANET? Since we can’t connect to the international sites?”

He said, “You call TM-Net, don’t tell me anything. It has nothing to do with me”. I answered with something and before I can finish, he repeat, “You go call TM-NET, that’s not related to me.”

He then leave my house immediately. That’s less than 5 minutes total from coming to my house to leaving my house.

TM-Net! Why send a sohai to my house who just want to waste my time?


If you subscribe to 013 mobile line, and you have no problem calling other 013 BUT always disconnect when you call to 012, 016 and 019. Is That A Problem?

If you buy a car and you can drive within Ipoh without any problem BUT you cannot drive it to Penang or Kuala Lumpur. Is That A Problem?

If you pay for 1024kbps and you can connect to local sites at fast 850kbps BUT you can only connect to international sites at 20kbps. Is That A Problem?!

The SCARY Truth IS

TM-Net already know that they have slow connection problem to international sites. There is nothing new to them. It is not a secret, not a surprise and not a special isolated case to them. The management staff know it, the technicians know it, the phone operators know it. There are millions of complaints in the internet and they receive thousand of calls each day about the slow connection. We are all doing our complaint alone, on 1-to-1 basis. If you total up all these complaints, you will know that almost everyone is having problem.

The problem to the slow connection is simple – The line is over congested. They blame people for using torrents and things like that. I do think it is correct. BUT users do nothing wrong at all because Streamyx has promised the bandwidth that we pay for and they need to deliver it! They need to take into consideration all of this before promising us anything?!Now I am paying RM88 for 1024kbps but is only getting 20kbps! That’s a shame because it is slower than dial up!

They have no resolution to the problem and is unable to fix it. So they use the ‘local bandwidth test‘ and ‘by best effort only clause‘ to ‘solve’ it. Telephone operators are well trained up nowadays to listen and ignore complaints (promise to do something but do nothing, kick you like a ball from here to there). Technicians are trained up to use the local bandwidth test tool and tell you, “Hey see, no problem” and then ‘settle’ it in 5 minutes.

Management/Marketing team close their eyes because they are happy with the money pouring in each month (RM88 x 70,000 subscribers = RM6 MILLION). Engineers also do nothing because NOTHING CAN BE DONE, unless TM-NET really willing to allocate money to upgrade their facility.

I have written a great post to explain What is SOHAI?. If you already understand the meaning of the word, do read it too to see if my explanation is good. :p

Update: AhYap has stop complaining about Streamyx so he can Live In Peace. Please read his final post on what do do with your slow streamyx connection and improve your torrent speed for his final episode. Commenting for this post has also been closed.

As my title says, cibai kia looking at cibai.

A quick comparison table is available at BankingInfo. But this table is limited to the following tenure, 1, 3, 6, 9 and 12 months. More than 1 year is available here.

Direct links to the specific bank’s website to check for their current fixed deposit interest rate

Local Banks

MayBank (Winner of AhYap’s “THE SLOWEST MALAYSIAN BANK”. ATM, check deposit and cash deposit machines doesn’t seems to improve their counter services AT ALL)
Public Bank
CIMB Bank (Previously Bumiputra Commerce & Southern Bank)
RHB Bank
Hong Leong Bank
EON Bank
Alliance Bank
Affin Bank (Winner of AhYap’s “THE MOST UGLY BANK’S WEBSITE”. I will never put money in a bank that can’t design a good website! BCB & Southern bank websites are also very ugly. No wonder they are taken over by CIMB now!)

Foreign Banks

Standard Chartered

[Leave a comment if any link is broken]

AhYap’s Knowledge Zone

Why do some banks offer higher interest rate while some are lower (esp. foreign banks)? Higher interest rate means the bank need your money. Foreign banks are usually financially stronger and has strong backup from their mother company. So they are not worry about the money too much.

How do banks make money? Lim Goh Thong put $1,000,000 in the bank and the bank give him 4% interest. The bank then loan the money to Ananda Krishnan and charge him 7% interest. The bank make the difference 3%.

Let’s say now Ananda has a choice to get the loan from either AmBank or UOB. AmBank offer him 7% while UOB 6%, which loan do you think he will take? :) Foreign banks are smart, they want to get more customers. And customers are those who loan money and not those who deposit money! In order to lower the loan interest rate, the deposit rates must also be lower. Else they can’t make good money. This explains why foreign bank don’t offer good deposit rates but VERY GOOD loan rates.

So if you are smart, you will put your fixed deposit in 1 bank and get a loan from another. :)

I help them to fix their typo. Hopefully their webmaster will update their homepage soon.


Experience the Internet like never before

With tmnet streamyx, you get broadband access service, which stays perpetually connected to the Internet with speed bandwidths of 8k 512k up to 50kbps 2mbps.

So, now when you download your favourite songs, movies, music videos and even accessing your favourite websites, you will won’t have to wait for ever and ever, leaving you with more time to enjoy everything except the Internet as you like.

Broadband your life today and experience the World Wide Web like never before.

Shame on Streamyx!

I am having problem connecting to my site today. Usually I won’t have any problem because my site is hosted at CyberJaya (very near compare to USA). But today 90% of data packets are lost when I connect to AhYap.com! And I do not know why streamyx route my connection to Australia half way?! Pandai betul streamxy routing facility.

Oh, it takes me 30 minutes to login to my blog, upload my screen capture and write this post. Streamyx Sucks!

All saman rate for car is RM70 except accident & running red light (RM150) and not using seatbelt (RM50).

So use your brain next time when you want to bribe a police, don’t believe in the bullshit, “Ini Saman Tiga Ratus Ringgit!”, and let the police scare the shit off you and end up you need to beg them to take your RM100! Use the following formula when calculating the amount of kopi duit.

Bribe Amount = Number of Police x RM10.


1 Police = RM10

2 Police = RM20

3+ Police = RM30 (maximum)

Remember that price are always negotiable! These are the HIGHEST price you can pay.

Things that you should remember when you get caught.

1. Don’t look like a virgin even if you are one! Pretend that you have been caught many times and you are their loyal customer. If they know you are a little virgin, you will be raped.

2. You need to continue talking! Don’t keep quiet. Keep talking shit and they will always talk back to you because they want to find a way to get to the point.

3. Don’t talk like a lawyer! Talk like you are talking to your best friend. Must Kawan Kawan Tau!

4. Make your first offer using 50% of the bribe amount (i.e. RM10 if 2 police). This is very important because they will say no to the first offer. Then you act like it is very hard for you and you talk cock that you are very poor, you then increase it to the bribe amount. They will happily accept it because all people want to bargain a bit than only feel happy.

If you are good, this should be settled within 10 minutes guaranted. :)

What if you do not have enough money or your ringgit notes are too big (i.e RM50/RM100)?

Negotiate the price *first* before telling them you don’t have the money or small notes! Then, let them hold your IC/Driving License so they know you can’t run away. You can now

1. Go withdraw cash at ATM or go back house to take if near.

2. If notes are too big, simply go to 7-eleven to buy a condom or you can go pump petrol at the nearest petrol station. (kopitiam, shops will also work! Use your brain)

This method is based on the concept, “Making a new friend is better than making a new enemy”.

Disclaimer: These are my little bullshit and for laughing purposes only, don’t use it as I am not responsible if you burned your ass with it.

The following is a list of the new compound rates (old rates in brackets):

Accidents not involving non-compoundable cases

  • Lorry/bus – RM200 (RM300)
  • 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van – RM150 (RM300)
  • Motorcycle – RM100 (RM300)


  • Lorry/bus – RM90 (RM150)
  • 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van – RM70 (RM150)
  • Motorcycle – RM50 (RM150)

Not using seatbelt

  • Taxi – RM50 (RM150)
  • Van – RM50 (RM80)
  • 4WD/Car – RM50 (RM70)

Not using helmet

  • Motorcycle – RM30 (RM70)

Making an illegal U-turn

  • Lorry/bus – RM90 (RM200)
  • 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van – RM70 (RM100)
  • Motorcycle – RM50 (RM70)

Overtaking in a dangerous manner/Cutting queue

  • Lorry/bus – RM90 (RM200)
  • 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van – RM70 (RM100)
  • Motorcycle – RM50 (RM70)

Running a red light

  • Lorry/bus – unchanged (RM200)
  • 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van – RM150 (RM200)
  • Motorcycle – RM100 (RM150)

Using a cellphone while driving

  • Lorry/bus – RM90 (RM200)
  • 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van – RM70 (RM100)
  • Motorcycle – RM50 (RM70)

Not giving way before turning

  • Lorry/bus – RM90 (RM200)
  • 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van – RM70 (RM100)
  • Motorcycle – RM50 (RM70)

Driving license-related offences

  • Lorry/bus – RM90 (RM150)
  • 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van – RM70 (RM80)
  • Motorcycle – RM30 (RM70)

Road tax-related offences

  • Lorry/bus – RM90 (RM150)
  • 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van – RM70 (RM80)
  • Motorcycle – RM30 (RM50)

Driving in an emergency lane

  • Lorry/bus – RM90 (RM200)
  • 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van – RM70 (RM100)
  • Motorcycle – RM50 (RM70)

Warrant-related cases

  • All vehicles – 1X the offer rate, not exceeding RM300 (RM300)

(Test to VisualWare UK-London server)

Diu! Analog 56kbps modem is 4 times faster than my broadband!

Niamahai Streamyx!

(Test to Visualware USA-Virginia Server)

I paid RM88/month for 1024kbps download and see what I get for the last few weeks!!! 45.8kbps?!?!?! Even my old 56kbps analog modem is faster than my broadband!!!

Update: AhYap has stop complaining about Streamyx so he can Live In Peace. Please read his final post on what to do with your slow streamyx connection  for his final post.

Amanah Saham Wawasan 2020

Went to bought Amanah Saham Wawasan 2020 this morning at 8.45am (a unit trust fund that have sound performance, around 6-10% per annum). Since I already got an account opened last time, I can just take a number and wait. My number is 34. For those who didn’t have an account, they have to queue up! Heard that the person who get the 1st place came at 6.00am. A young man at position 5 came at around 7.00am.

The best of the story is not how many people are queuing up or how early they came.

There are 100 people waiting to but the fund, but only 1 person manage to buy. Not even the second person! Fund sold off immediately after the first person completes his transaction. haha.

1. There are hundred thousands other people queuing at 808 banks (Maybank, BCB & RHB) and 662 post offices in the whole country to grab the fund.

2. BACK DOOR! Those who have ‘relationship’ with the bank might have been buying even before those who use the main door. ‘Relationship’ can be bank manager’s father-in-law, bank officer’s daughter, security guard’s friend, etc. Today, they said their server is offline and is not able to enter any transaction for the first 20 mins. Offline? Maybe at the back of the office a computer has already been connected and a staff is busy entering transactions for all the back door customers. When the are ‘managed to connect’, it actually means they have finish processing all the back door transactions.

People who know how to use back door and relationship get all the tenders, loans, agreement, license, promotions, grant, sales, etc.

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