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Archive for October, 2006

Because I have to deal with Google everyday, I know quite a lot about them. I don’t care too much about their history because I am more worried about their domination of the Internet in the future! This will be 1,000,000 times more scary then Microsoft domination of the software world! Why? Because Internet will become Google and Google is the Internet. They will be controlling everything!

Let’s begin with Part 1 – Google Analytics. If you don’t run any website, it’s OK if you haven’t heard about it. For those who did run a website but never heard about it, you are REALLY OUT! Don’t call yourself a webmaster.

Google Analytics is a FREE (important keyword here FREE) web statistic analysis software provided by Google to EVERYONE (important keyword EVERYONE) who has a website (that means the whole Internet!). Google Analytics was previously known as Urchin before it is acquired by Google for 30 million in March 2005. 30 million only?!! What a pity for Urchin! YouTube was sold for 1.6 billion, that is 1,600 million!

If you don’t know what is a web analytics software, it actually gives you a whole bunch of statistics about your website TRAFFIC (visitors who came to your site). It tells you almost everything you want to know about your site traffic including the most important WHERE DID THEY CAME FROM (what search engine did they use to search for your site, what keywords did they use, which website/blog that refer them to your site…), what countries are they from, what pages did they look in your site, how many times have they came to your site, what browsers are they using, how long did they stay in your site, etc.

Google already indexed the whole Internet in their search engine. Now they are giving this professional level statistic software for FREE to everyone! Before that Urchin was charging $299/month for anyone who need the SAME service! WHY? Because they want to monitor EVERY WEBSITE and EVERY USER in the INTERNET! Do you know how scary is this now? They want to know everything about all the Internet users and all the websites. So they can draw a BIG map of the Internet and know exactly where is the ‘gold mine’, ‘oil source’, ‘osama bin laden’ of the Internet! In another word, it helps Google to know exactly where the money is! They also know exactly what to pay attention for.

If you don’t know how important these statistics are, maybe your brain are still not tuned to the online world. Just get back offline and imagine that you know exactly all the traffic (visitors) details of all the places in your country (especially businesses). You know specifically how many people visited WalMart in any specific day and hour, what did they buy and how much did they spend. You also get those info for Tesco and Ikea. You even got to know everything about the small shops around your neighbourhood. You know about the restaurants businesses, the education businesses, the plantation businesses, the medical businesses … Imagine you know almost everything, does it worth ‘something’ to you?

Google Analytics allows Google to make a better search engine. This is because Google Analytics tells Google exactly which website or webpage is HOT and Google and easily take into consideration these data to rank their search results. The heart of Google is always the search and they spend millions hiring the best brain to work for them, they will do whatever they can to serve better search results. Google Analytics will be playing a very important role here.

Google Analytics has also integrated with Google Adwords (You use Adwords to advertise in Google) to track all your sales number! What that means is every business using Google Adwords and easily track their sales conversion and statistic using Google Analytic as well! All in one place. And this actually means a lot of businesses are telling Google exactly all their sales number! Are you interested in a business sales number, such as their advertising amount, their conversion rate, amount of items sold, etc?

To go one step further, Google is offering online businesses very cheap credit card processing gateway so they can easily take credit cards payments in their website. It is called Google Checkout. Again it is used to get MORE information about the Internet and I will talk about it in another Google Domination post.

Can you see Google is trying to get into every part of the PIPELINE from the source to the destination? Different services are tracking different part of the pipeline. Google Analytics are tracking the website statistics (where visitors came from) and Google Checkout will be tracking the buyers and sellers. They want to know everything!

I have been saying this for a long time. Sooner or later (or already today?) The Internet Is Google and Google Is The Internet. You got to be prepare for it!

Imagine you are using the ugly Sand King in a dota game. You farm for 90 minutes until level 25 which make you so fat and scary. You are ready to show them your ugly face in a team battle. Your turn on your BKB, stun into the 5 enemy heroes and click your E-key to launch your 3rd level Ultimate. You shake your green tail for 2 seconds and start shaking the earth like hell. The 5 enemy heroes run like chickens away from you but unfortunately they can only crawl like a snail under your slow effect. They are in deep pain and waiting to die. While you are laughing your ass off waiting for TRIPLE KILL! Here is what you get instead.

WarCraft III Fatal Error

This application has encountered a critical error:

FATAL ERROR!

Loser Yap 4 Years Ago

Exactly 4 years ago in October 2002, I finally finished my 9th semester (extended!) in UTM and came home to Ipoh.

Although I enjoy my Uni life very much, there are really a lot of things that show that I am a loser at that time.

1. As a dean list student with a score of 96% on my final year project, I can’t find a company to take me for practical training, until the last minute Flextronics take me up as a pity.

2. I can’t graduate along with my other coursemates because I have to extend 1 more semester.

3. I wore my RM100 long-sleeve shirt that I bought for my graduation dinner and wear my RM50 handsome-yap tie, drove to Senai Seagate and waited 2 hours before it is my turn for the job interview. I screw the interview. The not-so-handsome who wear T-shirt and jeans got the job. Damn it!

4. Going after 3 girls, but all screw up. (note: screw up = failed, not screw in!)

What do I learned? (and you can learn if you want)

1. Doing well in academic and scoring 96% in your final year project doesn’t promise you anything in your future. It just make you feel more fucked up when you can’t get a job! BTW, I still keep my project here.

2. Should have study less and play more, go to mamak stall every night and visit JB every week! If academic result numbers mean everything, computer can select the right candidates on its own and interviews are not required.

3. Be a good boy can’t get you pass an interview. You got to lie your ass off, talk big and over promise. You have to pretend that you know everything. It doesn’t matter if you can really execute your job or not because you don’t even have a chance to execute anything if you can’t get the job in the first place.

To add a little juice to my explanation, after I graduated, I wrote 3 very long letters to 3 different banks begging them to approve me a credit card. All of them reject my application because I don’t have any pay-slips. Honesty and Be-A-Good-Boy is not the way to play the game. Shouldn’t it be easier if I just fake some pay-slips?

4. Girls? No comment. Ask playboy soufu to comment. Soufu, how many papayas have you pluck when you are in UM? Kekekekeke.

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