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Archive for June, 2007

Some people don’t really get what we meant by Streamyx is the largest INTRANET provider in Malaysia. I think it come from the confusing technical word ‘INTRANET’.

Intranet is not Internet. Intranet refers to a local connected network. Usually a university or a company (say a bank) will have their own intranet. The reason we say Streamyx is the largest intranet in Malaysia because they connect like ROCKET within Malaysia and connect like TURTLE outsite of Malaysia (especially to USA). So it is a shame that they call themselves the largest Internet Service Provider (ISP) in Malaysia and that’s why we suggest them to call themselves the largest INTRANET Service Provider in Malaysia instead.

Today I do a few speed test using SpeedTest.net to let you know what I mean.

–Speed Test to Kuala Lumpur (Kampung of the World)–

See the Amazing speed? That’s ROCKET speed! 1,265 kbps! And my package is the RM88 1mbps (1,024kbps). So it actually goes over the limit! The reason it goes over the limit is because I complaint too much last year and they upgrade it free for me to 1,536kbps to keep my mouth shut.

But the upgrade is totally useless. Why? Because I don’t surf Malaysia sites most of the time. I have to visit YouTube, have to visit MySpace that are hosted in the USA. Let’s do some speed test to USA.

–Speed Test to Los Angeles, USA–

My God! Did you see that Amazing Turtle Speed? 33kbps! I pay RM88 for 1,024 kbps and 33kbps is only 3% of my package speed. The ancient analog modem that we keep in the museum now (the 1515 that sounds like diiiiiiiiiiiii-di-di-di-di when you try to connect) can connect at 54kbps!

How do you expect me to see Paris Hilton from her webcam in L.A. at 33kbps?

Paris Hilton Streamyx Sucks

–Speed Test to New York, USA–

Arghhhhh! Pengsan. 24kbps! No wonder my YouTube movie and MySpace music never load. No wonder Donald Trump can’t hear me on SKYPE this morning.

Donald Trump Streamyx Sucks

–Speed Test to London, UK–

Errrrr! Only 47 kbps! How do I voice-chat with Tony Blair using Yahoo Messenger?

Tony Blair Streamyx Sucks

The internet, means International Network. It connects the whole world together. If TM-Net promise us ‘Internet’ service of 1,024kbps, they should provide that speed for all sites in the world, not just Malaysia. So, our Streamyx is really one of the biggest Joke in Malaysia (something like Proton).

It is even more nonsense, when Streamyx is now offering 4mbps package while they are still unable to provide a good 1mbps!

Malaysian are a pity nation. We know something is shit, but we still have to eat it. We know Streamyx is shit, but we still have to use it. We know Proton is shit, but we still have to drive it. And I keep eating this 2 shits everyday (Streamyx and my Proton Iswara). AhYap Boleh!

Update: AhYap has stop complaining about Streamyx so he can Live In Peace. Please read his final post on what do do with your slow streamyx connection and improve your torrent speed for his final episode. Commenting for this post has also been closed.

Instead of being the largest Internet Service Provider (ISP) of Malaysia, Streamyx has became the largest Intranet Service Provider in Malaysia. Connections are fast like rocket when connecting to servers located at Penang and Johor Bahru but is slow like turtle when connecting to US servers like YouTube and MySpace.

To learn more, read soufulow’s Streamyx Intranet: Malaysia BIGGEST liar!

There was this board in a Hotel @ China.

Sinking of Malaysia

Hell! Where is the other half of Malaysia? Where is the Dog Head? Where is the Cat (Kuching)? Malaysia has only the banana left!

If our politicians see this, they would say, “It is OK to lost Sabah Sarawak because we are still better than Indonesia because they lost hell lots more islands then us!”.

This is what our politicians do all the time. This is called the compare game. When there is something bad, they will compare it to something worst to make that thing ‘look’ good. When there is bocor (leakage), they say it is good because it didn’t runtuh (collapse).

But when it comes to self-interest things, they forget to compare to something worst but instead compare to something better. Like when it comes to their salary, they forget to compare to the Africans who don’t even have food to eat, but they want to compare to Singapore’s Prime Minister (USD $2 million/year). When the Goverment gives him a free Perdana, he compares his Perdana with Ferrari (instead of my Iswara).

And then when we tell them how fuck up Streamyx is, they will tell us many Africans don’t even have TV! (now they remember the Africans) Why don’t they compare to Singapore, Japan and USA?

When you tell them the Toll price is very expensive, they will show you a report with a list of countries that pay more expensive Toll, i.e. comparing to something worst so our toll price ‘look’ good now. When you tell them Petrol is very expensive, they put up BIG bill board all over Malaysia and advertise in all newspapers telling us we actually pay cheap because they subsidize us, i.e. comparing to something worst, in the case if they DON’T subsidize us. Why they don’t compare to Brunei that charges 50 cents a litre?

Understand how politicians play the compare game now?

Your parents play that too. When you ask the President of the house (not Abdullah Badawi but your dad) why he drive a Proton instead of a BMW, he will tell you many people can only ride a bike! When you ask the First Lady (not Jeanne Abdullah but your mum) why she can’t cook like Iron Chef, she will tell you many woman don’t even know how to cook.


When you get #2 at school the politicians of the house (again, not Abdullah Badawi and Jeanne Abdullah but your mum and dad!) compare you to the #1 student and ask you why you didn’t get #1! They forget to compare to the 356 people who is worst then you.

When you score 99 marks in your Math, they compare you with the full score 100 and ask you why you didn’t get 100 but only 99! They forget to compare to 98, 97, 96 …. 3, 2, 1 & 0.

So the next time when the politicians in your house compare you to something better, you just asked “Why Ah Meng’s father drove a Benz and you drove a Proton?”, “Why Ali’s house got swimming pool and we don’t even have a 2nd storey?”

I promised they will kick your ass and ask you to sleep outside the house. Then you can compare sleeping in your small room vs sleeping outside the house with mosquitoes. Wahahahaha.

[Thanks Abdullah Badawi and Jeanne Abdullah for participating in my story.]

Abdullah Badawi and Jeanne Abdullah Married

Question: Guess what’s happening at the Shanghai Airport?

Hints: Sammy Vellu, JKR, Malaysia High Court, Parliament Building

Answer: BOCOR! (Leakage)

China Boleh! Shanghai Boleh! Malaysia Boleh!

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