How To Bribe a Police – Part 2 (Again, For Laugh Only)
Jan 18th, 2007 by AhYap
This is an update to my favorite post How To Bribe A Police.
Disclaimer: Everything here didn’t happen in real life but only happen in my dream.
I paid a hefty tuition fee on finding those knowledge. Here is the breakdown.
1. RM30 – 1 police (Break Rule #1 – Look like a Virgin.)
2. RM100 – Real saman after discount (Break Rule #2 – Refuse to Talk because they accused me of speeding. RM100 is a small price. The big price is feeling upset for the next few months for being accused of something that I didn’t do!)
3. RM50 – 2 police (This one damn pain, already negotiate to RM20 in 5 mins but don’t have small note. Thus in my guide there is a special solution to this.)
4. RM15 – 2 police (Follow all the rules. Settle in less than 5 mins with a handshake and laughter. Win Win. No need to upset. No need to lose big money)
New Method Learned From My Friend – Settle Faster While Paying Less Without Talking!
My friend get caught by a police using handset while driving. His mum is beside him. The police asked for IC and driving license. While my friend wanted to give him those documents, her mum said, “Just give him RM5!”. My friend was *shocked*. Shocked for 2 reasons – “So Fast?” and “RM5 so little only?”. But he indeed just gave RM5 instead of giving his IC and driving license without any talking and negotiation! The police is unsatisfied (shown in face) but his mum just say, “Boleh lah, Boleh lah”. The police then go away.
* RESPECT *
1. 姜是老的辣 (Old people are smarter)
2. 一山还比一山高，强中自有强中手 (There is always someone better than you)
This post is dedicated to Shar who seems like the only one who read my whole blog! 
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How do you react when you are fetching a woman that you are tackling and the sux police suddenly come out… Money is minor thing,but Face is major concern!
Hahaha.
Ah Yap, it was a friend of mine who found your post about TM-NUT, I read it and loved your style of writing.
Anyway, I showed your joke bribing guide, which I fully understand it’s only a joke and nothing ever happened and it is not to be taken seriously, to my friend who moved from Swden to here and he found it ‘useful’. Got himself out of a situation ytd.
Why the HECK fan ban relates EVERY issues with woman and dating? fan ban… i’m so sick of u
haha..cool 1..RM5 settle everything!!
Ban Keong,
Ever thought that the girl will be impressed by your negotiation skills? Imagine, RM 5 only can settle d wor. Anyway, we are all law abiding citizens here. There is no such thing as bribing. We are an ‘Anti Rasuah’ nation, ok? The girl will be angry if you break the road rules so jadilah pemandu yg bersopan and patuhilah undang2 jalanraya.
My father can settle with RM0 for 3 incidents. But he has to talk story for 30 minutes until the police feel bored. And I don’t like to waste time, so RM5 is better.
Hi Shar, thanks for hanging around my blog.
haha, ah yap, don’t thank me. I just love ur style of writing. Can ur father adopt me ar? I also want to learn how to talk cock until they let me go. Usually they ask for my phone number (bloody hamsup right?) or ust say: lain kali jangan buat lagi yea dik…
Haha, that’s why GIRL has more advantages in negotiating with police compared to GUY. She can just use their gifted power to ask for forgiveness. And when time arises, she can even cry in front of the police and the police will end up need to ’sayang’ you balik. Wahahaha.
PLEASE VOTE FOR THE POLICEMAN IN MY BLOG
i wanna be a gal!!! when i grow up, i wanna gave boobies!!
hahaaha
this 1 is funny lorh.