— — —

I just had this conversation with one of the so-call streamyx ‘technical’ support, very interesting:

Me: "Hello I cant connect to Internet with my streamyx, can you please check?"

Streamyx: "Yes sir can I have your name… blah blah blah"

Me: "Sure, I am this this this, my phone number is this this… I have do all the router restart and blah blah blah…"

Streamyx: "Oh okay, can i have your IP address please?"

Me: "IP address? I don’t have an IP address because i cant connect to streamyx server. that’s why i couldn’t get online…"

Streamyx: "(in exact word!) "yeah i know, but can i have your IP address?"

Me: "Cant you hear me? I couldn’t connect to streamyx server, how can I have an IP?"

Streamyx: "okay if in this case can you ping your IP?"

Me: "I dont have an IP address!"

Streamyx: "…. (ignoring me completely) you go start, program, command prompt, and type ipconfig…"

Me: "Friend, are you listening? I don’t have an IP address…. how can I ping it?"

Streamyx: "(in exact word!) Oh like that ar, you computer cannot ping then its your computer problem lar."

— — —

This reminds me of my post Sohai Streamyx Technician – Why Send a Sohai to My House? 

And I find it very interesting that there is a plural form of sohai!!! i.e. sohais! wakakakakakakaka.

Streamyx has been very slow lately. Again if you call in and a recorded sound will blame it on the cable again [poor cable, always kena blamed]. Their cable don’t know why must putus every month.

According to the voice, it will be end of the month before it can be fixed, zzzzzzz. If you do a speedtest at speedtest.net to a Malaysia server, the speed will be blazing fast because cable connecting within Malaysia is not putus. But if you try a US server, your speed is almost 0, tak jalan langsung! Because the international cable kena gigit ikan jerung.

I called Streamyx yesterday and the sohai use the same trick again and tell me everything is OK because my connection to the Malaysia server is fast! He said cannot test US server because it is too far. He say, “Jangan. Jangan. Itu jauh lar! Test Malaysia cukup.” lol.

And how often do we really surf a website hosted in Malaysia? Or how many great websites are hosted in Malaysia?! And if it cannot connect outside Malaysia, that means Streamyx is useless!

Again, these are not new issues. We have been talking about it for years and it just coming back to hunt us. Streamyx inside Malaysia Boleh, but outside Malaysia, Tak Boleh. That’s why I am really not interested in all those what what “High Speed Broadband” and the what what “4mbps package”. What are the use of those when you can’t deliver a 1mbps properly? 

Long way to go Malaysia. Even if we fixed TM, we still have Maybank, Proton, Pos Malaysia, MAS, KTM, PRDM … the only effective entity in Malaysia is Inland Revenue Board (Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri)!!! [Ok ok, to be fair, Bank Negara too] It will be a long long time, if it ever happens that these companies can be like IRB and Bank Negara.

First Record – 87kbps! Look a where the needle is pointing.

Second Record – 1-300-88-9515 keep on repeating

“Semua pelanggan perkhidmatan kami masih sibuk, kami akan melayani anda secepat mungkin.”

Welcome to Boleh Land!

OK. The real reason I am not blogging is because I have put a lot of things into my NOT-TO-DO list. You have heard of TO-DO list many times, which list down a lot of things that you need to do. A NOT-TO-DO list on the other hand is a list of things that you want to remind yourself NOT TO DO!

When we have a long TO-DO list, we will be very stressful and overwhelmed. We have so much to do and yet we have so little time. But the good news is, a lot of things that we put in our TO-DO list can actually be eliminated without affecting our life! By transferring these meaningless TO-DO to a new NOT-TO-DO list, we earn a lot of extra time. You will feel more relax and focus. You get FREEDOM.

So, unfortunately, I have temporary put blogging into my NOT-TO-DO list. Not because of Hishammuddin invites me to drink tea at ISA lar.

Another thing that I have put into my NOT-TO-DO list is StreamyxSucks.com. Since they setup a new 10Gbps link in July, I have been enjoying incredible speed with Streamyx. But I find out that while I am enjoying decent speed, there are actually more people complaining after the upgrade. But until today, I still enjoy my Streamyx very much and it is the best connection I have gotten for the pass 5 years.

So I have decided not to continue my StreamyxSucks.com project and will stop collecting emails today. Sorry to act like a politician – Talk COCK a lot but do nothing at the end. Maybe I do have some politician blood? Wahaha.

I will give you guys some direction on what’s next.

For All Torrent Freaks and P2P Addicts

For torrent freaks and P2P addicts, all you need is a VPN service. A VPN route your torrent and P2P connections to another server to bypass the capping done by Tmnet. You can easily get 50kb to 100kb torrent speed by using VPN. Current I am using BolehVPN.

You will need to pay for this service because these guys need to pay for the Server. The price is around RM1 per day and there are several packages. However, I suggest that you never pay more than 2 months at once! This is because there are several VPN providers that have run away! I paid my last provider 6 months in advance and he run away after 2 months. So only pay the amount you are comfortable to loss. You can find other VPN providers here.

For Those Who Just Want To Rant and Complaint

Lowyat Forum, the biggest Malaysia community has a very active Streamyx forum where you can meet a lot of Streamyx users online. They even setup a special rant thread for you to fxxk tmnet CEO’s mama and grand-mama (over 1,700 replies!).

Soufu has also collected a lot of streamyx complaints here and he wants you to submit more.

For Those Who Want To Have a Streamyx Sucks T-Shirt.

Soufu called me and say he is very interested in printing the T-Shirt and I am sure a lot of you are very eager to wear it, so please check out Soufu’s Streamyx Sucks T-Shirt Design and push him to print it as soon as possible!

For Those Who Want To Quit Using Streamyx And Use Other ISPs

Unfortunately, almost all ISP are more fucked-up than Streamyx. For Streamyx, you can at least call 1300-88-9515 to send your regards to their mother and father but for most other ISPs, they don’t even pick up your phone calls. You will get more depressed and end up complaining at AhYap.com.

But there is always hope, check out Redesign Malaysia – Better Broadband for a list of ISPs and activities that you can participate in.

For Those Who Want To Screw AhYap’s Ass Hole For Overpromise and Underdeliver for StreamyxSucks.com

I will wear 16 underwears beginning today so it won’t be easy for you! I am protecting my asshole at all cost!!!

—

Free Streamyx Sucks banners will always be available at StreamyxSucks.com. Comments for this post is now closed as you can now find more abang adik at Lowyat.net’s Streamyx forum.

Intranet is not Internet. Intranet refers to a local connected network. Usually a university or a company (say a bank) will have their own intranet. The reason we say Streamyx is the largest intranet in Malaysia because they connect like ROCKET within Malaysia and connect like TURTLE outsite of Malaysia (especially to USA). So it is a shame that they call themselves the largest Internet Service Provider (ISP) in Malaysia and that’s why we suggest them to call themselves the largest INTRANET Service Provider in Malaysia instead.

Today I do a few speed test using SpeedTest.net to let you know what I mean.

–Speed Test to Kuala Lumpur (Kampung of the World)–

See the Amazing speed? That’s ROCKET speed! 1,265 kbps! And my package is the RM88 1mbps (1,024kbps). So it actually goes over the limit! The reason it goes over the limit is because I complaint too much last year and they upgrade it free for me to 1,536kbps to keep my mouth shut.

But the upgrade is totally useless. Why? Because I don’t surf Malaysia sites most of the time. I have to visit YouTube, have to visit MySpace that are hosted in the USA. Let’s do some speed test to USA.

–Speed Test to Los Angeles, USA–

My God! Did you see that Amazing Turtle Speed? 33kbps! I pay RM88 for 1,024 kbps and 33kbps is only 3% of my package speed. The ancient analog modem that we keep in the museum now (the 1515 that sounds like diiiiiiiiiiiii-di-di-di-di when you try to connect) can connect at 54kbps!

How do you expect me to see Paris Hilton from her webcam in L.A. at 33kbps?

–Speed Test to New York, USA–

Arghhhhh! Pengsan. 24kbps! No wonder my YouTube movie and MySpace music never load. No wonder Donald Trump can’t hear me on SKYPE this morning.

–Speed Test to London, UK–

Errrrr! Only 47 kbps! How do I voice-chat with Tony Blair using Yahoo Messenger?

The internet, means International Network. It connects the whole world together. If TM-Net promise us ‘Internet’ service of 1,024kbps, they should provide that speed for all sites in the world, not just Malaysia. So, our Streamyx is really one of the biggest Joke in Malaysia (something like Proton).

It is even more nonsense, when Streamyx is now offering 4mbps package while they are still unable to provide a good 1mbps!

Malaysian are a pity nation. We know something is shit, but we still have to eat it. We know Streamyx is shit, but we still have to use it. We know Proton is shit, but we still have to drive it. And I keep eating this 2 shits everyday (Streamyx and my Proton Iswara). AhYap Boleh!

Update: AhYap has stop complaining about Streamyx so he can Live In Peace. Please read his final post on what do do with your slow streamyx connection and improve your torrent speed for his final episode. Commenting for this post has also been closed.

To learn more, read soufulow’s Streamyx Intranet: Malaysia BIGGEST liar!

Hell! Where is the other half of Malaysia? Where is the Dog Head? Where is the Cat (Kuching)? Malaysia has only the banana left!

If our politicians see this, they would say, “It is OK to lost Sabah Sarawak because we are still better than Indonesia because they lost hell lots more islands then us!”.

This is what our politicians do all the time. This is called the compare game. When there is something bad, they will compare it to something worst to make that thing ‘look’ good. When there is bocor (leakage), they say it is good because it didn’t runtuh (collapse).

But when it comes to self-interest things, they forget to compare to something worst but instead compare to something better. Like when it comes to their salary, they forget to compare to the Africans who don’t even have food to eat, but they want to compare to Singapore’s Prime Minister (USD $2 million/year). When the Goverment gives him a free Perdana, he compares his Perdana with Ferrari (instead of my Iswara).

And then when we tell them how fuck up Streamyx is, they will tell us many Africans don’t even have TV! (now they remember the Africans) Why don’t they compare to Singapore, Japan and USA?

When you tell them the Toll price is very expensive, they will show you a report with a list of countries that pay more expensive Toll, i.e. comparing to something worst so our toll price ‘look’ good now. When you tell them Petrol is very expensive, they put up BIG bill board all over Malaysia and advertise in all newspapers telling us we actually pay cheap because they subsidize us, i.e. comparing to something worst, in the case if they DON’T subsidize us. Why they don’t compare to Brunei that charges 50 cents a litre?

Understand how politicians play the compare game now?

Your parents play that too. When you ask the President of the house (not Abdullah Badawi but your dad) why he drive a Proton instead of a BMW, he will tell you many people can only ride a bike! When you ask the First Lady (not Jeanne Abdullah but your mum) why she can’t cook like Iron Chef, she will tell you many woman don’t even know how to cook.

BUT THEN….

When you get #2 at school the politicians of the house (again, not Abdullah Badawi and Jeanne Abdullah but your mum and dad!) compare you to the #1 student and ask you why you didn’t get #1! They forget to compare to the 356 people who is worst then you.

When you score 99 marks in your Math, they compare you with the full score 100 and ask you why you didn’t get 100 but only 99! They forget to compare to 98, 97, 96 …. 3, 2, 1 & 0.

So the next time when the politicians in your house compare you to something better, you just asked “Why Ah Meng’s father drove a Benz and you drove a Proton?”, “Why Ali’s house got swimming pool and we don’t even have a 2nd storey?”

I promised they will kick your ass and ask you to sleep outside the house. Then you can compare sleeping in your small room vs sleeping outside the house with mosquitoes. Wahahahaha.

[Thanks Abdullah Badawi and Jeanne Abdullah for participating in my story.]

I need a name card on 8 April (Saturday) but I need to collect it by Thursday because I am leaving Ipoh on Friday.

WEDNESDAY

Soufu has designed a namecard for both of us. So I went around the whole Ipoh for 3 hours to more than 6 shops to ’search’ and ‘research’ about name card printing. Tell you, name card seems common, but most people don’t know where to print and the knowledge behind them (plain paper, laminated, laser, digital printing, UV, blar blar BLAR). I finally settled with one shop but it is near 6pm. I brought my pen drive but they said the computer is ‘locked’ so I had to email them. I emailed them when I got home.

THUSRDAY

Because I know I will wake up late, I asked soufu to call them to followup on Thursday. He called whole day but seems like no one can really do a thing. The person in charge is not in the shop. And they didn’t seems to check mail! They just keep telling soufu that they will call him back. But of course, they didn’t.

FRIDAY

Soufu went to the shop in the morning to settle the thing. The staff said everything is ok and can begin printing.

SATURDAY and SUNDAY

Don’t know what the fuck they were doing. Also forget what the fuck I was doing too.

MONDAY (today)

I call back to follow up in the evening because I know there are always sohai in this world who can’t do a simple thing correctly (Ahem! TM-NUT Streamyx). I ask when can I get my card (before that they say I can collect in 4 days). END UP? They have not even start working on our cards! And they even tell me that the file we gave them earlier (I gave them once, soufu gave them once, so TWICE) cannot be used?!!! They ask me to resend. And they say they can’t finish printing it by Friday or Thursday because it takes 4 days.

There are always people in this world that need a BULLET in their head!

My girl friend ask me to relax and don’t go to shoot them. She is right. I should not go to shoot them. I should go and BOMB them. BOMB their whole shop!

Who else need a bullet in their head?

All TM-NUT management and technical staffs!

Soufu and I are working on a AGAINST STREAMYX community which should be able to launched soon. Akan Datang!

Update: AhYap and Soufulow has abandoned the BIG project. Please read AhYap’s final post on solve your slow TM Net Streamyx for the latest solutions. Commenting for this post is now closed.

But still, I am boiled…

How can TM-NUT management can be so dishonest and ignorant on their current situation. I know the situation is very bad, why not stand up and admit it clearly and let us know exactly how bad is the situation and how long would it takes to really rectify the problem? Instead, they write shits like this in their website

> Internet users in Malaysia and other parts of Asia may be experiencing some delay when assessing content and websites hosted outside of Malaysia, especially in U.S., Japan, China, Taiwan, Korea and Europe. TM Net has taken immediate action to divert traffic through other back-up links to reduce the traffic congestion.

Some delay? SOME? SOME? May be? MAY? Why they don’t have the guts to admit it like a man? Everyone know it is a SERIOUS DELAY. not “Some Delay”!!! Tell us the truth that we need to know. You mention about back-up links, do you really have any back-up links? What kind of load can your back-up links handle? I know internet users in Malaysia is seriously affected, but I doubt Singapore is. So stop using phases like “Malaysia and other parts of Asia” but just say MALAYSIA. Because you are only responsible for Malaysia broadband, even other countries do bad doesn’t relate to you. Focus on your duty.

> especially in U.S., Japan, China, Taiwan, Korea and Europe.

Wahaha, isn’t that consider the whole internet?

> We would like to assure you that we are doing all that is necessary in order to restore the service as soon as possible

Rubbish. Everyone know how to write this kind of rubbish. How you assure? What is the necessary? When is soon?

> We will be making further announcements when the service has resumed.

When are your “further announcements”? You wrote a 240 words totally useless announcement on 27th December and I heard nothing else from you. Busy celebrating your Christmas and New Year? This is a SERIOUS RED-ALERT LEVEL EMERGENCY, and as your customers for 4 years, all I get was the 240 words from your website and the 1 minute “briefing” from 1300-88-9515?

I WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!

TM-NUT, the way you run your business SUCKS. You are irresponsible to your customers who pay you every month for your promised services. You are dishonest by saying something like ‘may be experiencing some delay’. Your can be ignorant because you monopolized the broadband in Malaysia and thus giving us no choice but to pay for your rubbish service only!

Countries like Singapore are affected too but not as serious as our level since not all their ‘international links’ are broken, they can still deliver their service. It looks like our TM-NUT only have one link and when it is damaged, everything is broken. I am not using the Internet for P2P or Torrent. I am not playing World Of WarCraft or Ragnarok. Nor I am watching any YouTube videos. I don’t even need to blog here (I blog here because my site is hosted in Malaysia and it is the only site I still can access to).

BUT I need to renew my domain name before 3 January 2007 before it is expired. I still can’t access my domain registrar until today…

I need to control my money in my trading account! I can’t login to my account and thus I can’t do anything… I can’t sell!

I need to do routine things online because that’s my JOB. My rice-bowl will broke if I can’t do that…

If the flood in Johor can take away life and destroyed properties… Then the rubbish TM-Net can also destroyed mine just like the flood… I am now drowning in the “virtual” flood created by TM-NET.

Update: AhYap has stop complaining because he is too tired. Please read his final post on solving your slow TM Net Streamyx for his last ranting episode. Commenting for this post is now closed.

Streamyx will be down for the next few weeks, do we need to pay our Streamyx bill for January?

Thank You.

Regards,
AhYap.

Update: AhYap has decided to stop complaining after the CEO called me and give me RM5,000 plus a free T1 line for whole life. Please read AhYap’s final post on how to make your Streamyx torrent run faster. Commenting for this post is now closed.

No internet for the next few days (weeks?). Take the time to relax and happy holidays to all (Christmas and New Year).

p/s Our earth is sicked now, we have unexpected flood in Johor, have unexpected Tsunami, have serious Katrina and Rita in the US, have abnormal strong wind that strike Vietnam and Philippines lately… my friend just got back from Sydney, Australia. It is Summer in Australia. The Australian told him that it is normally very hot in the summer until you have to remove your shirt but NOW it is God-Damn Cold!

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