For me, the reason that Life-Is-Good is because there are always new things for me to learn. I don’t have much talent that is born with me (other than things related to computer, and maybe talking cock) and I am very proud because I learn most things after I was born. And that is the fun part, if you have skills that you are born with, for example, incredible mathematic skill or drawing skill when you are 3 years old, you can’t teach people how to do that! But on the other hand, if you sucks at something at first and master it later in your life, you can teach people how to do that because you have gone through it yourself. And that explain why my classmates always scold me, "Like this also don’t know meh." Because he is born smart and he just don’t understand why other people can’t understand it.
[And that also explain why I can't teach people computing and how to talk cock]
Today, I am going to teach you a trick that I use ALL THE TIME to trick people on doing what you want them to do. Wahahahah. Bad! Bad! Bad AhYap! Even if you don’t want to use it, knowing it help you to figure out why you always get tricked by somebody else to do things that you don’t want to do! And the next time your insurance agent and MLM friends do that to you, you will know, and smile, and give him your middle finger, and tell him, ‘Don’t use that trick one me, mother fucker!’ :p
Let’s begin.
Hypnosis is playing with the brain. You first understand how the brain works and then you play with it (trick it/manipulate it).
Read this sentence 3 times - ‘Output’ of our brain must be logically linked to the ‘Input’. I am sure if you read it 300 times you also don’t know what does it mean. Examples will help.
Example #1
If I ask you in English, "What is your name Sir?" (the input), your answer will most likely be, "I am Mr Yap". (the output)
But if I ask you in Malay, "Siapa nama encik?" (the input), your brain will need to logically answer in Malay, "Nama saya Encik Yap". (the output)
So if I ask you in Chinese, "先生贵姓？" [What is your sur name] You will logically answer "姓叶。" [Yap]
It is not logical to answer somebody who asked you in English, "What is your name Sir?" and you answer in Malay, "Nama saya Adbullah Badawi".
Example #2
Chinese has their original Chinese name but because of the influence from the west, we have ‘English’ names too like David, Steven, Patrick, Sohai, etc.
If someone come to me and introduce to me, "I am Mr Wong." Then my brain will logically answer, "I am Mr Yap."
If he come to me and introduce to me, "I am David Wong." Then my brain will logically answer, "I am Sohai Yap" [Given that if I have an English name and it is 'Sohai' in this example]
Example #3
If somebody ask you, "What is your name." You can’t answer, "I like to eat KFC." because the output didn’t linked logically to the output!
If somebody ask you, "How to spell Hishammuddin?" You can’t answer, "Streamyx Sucks!". They don’t link.
The 3 examples above show that ‘Output’ of our brain must be logically linked to the ‘Input’. And our game starts from here.
How To Trick People To Do What You Want Them To Do By Giving Them ‘Choices’
Have you ever wonder why your insurance agent and network marketing friends can always ask you to meet up, even though you really don’t want to go because you know he is going to sell you something?
Because they don’t ask you, "Are you free for supper tonight?" If they do so, your answer can be either - "Yeah, I am free tonight for supper so you can steal my money from my wallet" or 99% of the chance, you will answer, "Oh, I am not free… [I have to wake up early tomorrow] [I have assignments/reports to do] [I have to buy durian for my mother-in-law] [I have period pain] [My gold fish is sick] …" Most people (including you) are very talented liar.
Power salesman don’t ask you "When are you free for supper"! Power salesman ask, "Are we having supper tonight or tomorrow night?"
—Ka-Chiinnngggg—
Now your brain has to answer logically to the question, unless you are really not free tonight or tomorrow night, your brain will just be figuring out if you are free tonight or tomorrow night. Most of the time, you will just choose the ‘better’ choice out of the 2 given choices, tomorrow night. After answering unwillingly, "I think tomorrow night lar." and hang up. You still wondering why you want to see this guy, whose objective is to take money from you.
The trick here is, if you want someone to do something that you want them to do, give them 2 choices where either one is also what you want! 
-Examples-
Your mother may say to you, "Do you want to help sweep the floor or you want to clear the rubbish?" Ka-Chinghhhh, either one is what your mother want you to do. Pick anyone and you fall into her trick.
The Osim salesman who want to sell you uZap asks, "Do you want to pay with credit cards or cash?" or "Do you want the white one or the black one?" [real life examples used by soufulow 10 years ago when he is a poor Osim salesman]
Your discipline teacher looking at your Beatles hair, "Do you want me to cut it for you or you want to cut it yourself?"
The ‘choices’ that you give to the victim is very important. In our previous examples, we give them 2 choices where both are what we want. They pick either one, they fall into our trap.
Instead of giving them A or B where both are what you want, you can give them A or B where A is what you want them to choose while B is an extremely ridiculous and awkward choice that doesn’t make any sense to be chosen, or B as a choice that simply look more terrible and worst than A.
-Examples-
You scare that your son will ask you for RM100 ang pow in the coming Chinese New Year, but you only want to give RM20 so you can save the money for Casino De Genting. You can ask, "Son, do you want RM20 for your ang pow this year or you want RM2?" Kekekeke. RM2 look worst that RM20, or course he will choose RM20!
You go to eat fried mee and the guy ask you, "Do you want 1 egg or 2 eggs?" Then your brain think, "Wow, one egg enough lar, where got people eat 2 one." Then you say one. But you fall into his trap already because what he want is to make sure you include egg to your fried mee so he can charge you 50 cents more. If he has asked you, "Do you want egg?", you may have said no and he will not be able to charge you 50 cents more. This is a ridiculous choice example.
Let’s say a coffin seller want to sell a coffin at a certain price, he will show the buyer 3 coffins. The 1st coffin will be the coffin that the seller want the buyer to buy. The 2nd coffin is same price as the 1st coffin but it looks extremely terrible (made with recycle newspaper by Proton Malaysia). The 3rd coffin is a very expensive coffin but look just the same as the 1st one (Made by Louis Vuitton). The coffin buyer will pick the 1st one because the Proton made coffin is terrible in quality while the Louis Vuitton coffin is scary at price. Both choices look worst then the 1st coffin and don’t make sense to be chosen.
-More Examples-
- Your boss, "Can you finish this for me today or tomorrow?"
(actually you can request to finish by next week)
- Your wife, "Are you going to buy me LV or Prada?"
(actually you can request to buy a cheaper Guess bag or a pasar malam pirated LV)
- Your husband, "Do you want to do it on the sofa or the kitchen?"
(actually you can choose not to do it, or do it in the car)
- Your father, "Do you want me to beat you on your hand or your butt?"
(actually you can request not to be beaten, you can choose to wash your father car)
- Your friend when you don’t want to go happy hour with them, "Come on! Are we friend or are we not friend?"
(actually it is nothing about friend or not friend, you can always choose to go home)
- Buying at a shop, "You give me 20% discount or 30% discount?"
- Doctor, "You want Dr Mahathir or Dr Lim Leong Seik to cut you open?" [cut = operate]
(actually you can choose not to cut anything out from your body)
- Doctor again, "Do you want to cut or do you want to die?"
(actually you can choose to live without cutting, or cut the doctor’s filthy mouth)
- Jesus, "Do you want to got to hell or heaven?"
(actually …)
- Adbullah Badawi and Najib, "Do you want to live in a safe and peaceful country or an unstable and dangerous country?"
(actually you can vote another party and still have a safe and peaceful country)
- Asking your girlfriend, "You want to watch King Kong or Lord of the Rings?"
(actually you want to make sure your girlfriend don’t say Harry Potter)
- Salesman, "Do you want to buy one box or three boxes?"
(actually you don’t need to buy even 1 box!)
I find out that people can learn faster and remember things longer if you give them dirty examples, so here are some.
-Dirty Examples-
- You trick your new girlfriend to have sex with you by asking, "Wear condom or no need to wear condom?" Either answer means ‘Yes! You can do it!’ :p
- "Go to your place or my place?"
- "You want me to use Durex or Mister?"
- Chicken salesman, "China chicks or Vietnam chicks?"
- Woman, "You want to wash the dishes before sex or after sex?"
(either one you choose you have to wash the dishes)
- Betting with a girl, "If I win you let me kiss you, if I lose I let you kiss me."
- Woman tricking her naughty boyfriend who refuse to wear condom, "Do you want to wear it yourself or you want me to ‘wear’ it for you with my mouth?"
Wahahaha. Did you learn something from this post? To proof that you understand, please write an example in the comment below, both dirty and non dirty are welcomed! 
Edison Chen:”Should i use DV or just digital camera to snap your sexy body dear?”
who? hishammuddin or khairy jamaluddin?
(it doesn’t matter, either way we are death)
It’s just like women.
They never answer the question right.
For example your GF in ZARA store will ask you wheter you like Red or Blue.
You say Blue then the salesgirl and your girlfriend will answer you guys has such a bad taste and they will buy the red dress.
Whats the reason to ask my opinion when you are going to choose the opposite that i want anyway ? Afterall its the guy who will look at what you wear.
Women especially can twist their brains like no one can. Like when you choose a colour say yellow they have this colour name in their brains
” Yeah the pumpkin colour is nice” its never yellow.
When you tell them pumpkin is a fruit they say you are lame and not into the new things.
Colours to women must be a nickname like zesty orange, peach pink, fiery red and never the name of the colour.
—
When College year i had to play against Soo Beng Kiang of Help College.
My friend will ask did you win ?
Then you lanci answer I loose a little bit or “Shu Siew Siew”
By answering like that you make yourself like a very good player because you match Soo Beng Kiang’s Standard.
So even you are thrashed like shit by Soo Beng Kiang, you still have very good FACE.
—
When you face the Government contract hold by UMNO people.
The first thing is they will say “Saya ada Contract coming soon”
Meaning you must fulfill my first contract for my personal thing
e.g. his own building, his private business or his own house.
before he awards you the ‘BIG’ project.
Smart Bumi’s will talk like that so that they get what they personally.
The Chinaman will do it nicer than the ‘BIG’ project because its for personal use. If the big project fails its okay because you have done the small project and you know that fella will cover you.
It’s not about how your brains works but rather what you want to achieve. It’s the matter of trainning the mind although its really irritating likes salesman talk. Most Smart Salesman likes to Tokok and really people likes to listen to koks.
In fact so many conmens makes so much money not because they have big cock but they can tokok. Thats why eventhough ahyap say where got so big toad simply jump or pigs can fly, its because the of the sweet tokok.
They twists and turn, lingham here and lingham there so professionally not only can make money but also get away from trouble.
—
Guy - Your place or mine ?
Girl - Both - you go yours i go mine.
—
Badawi
Don’t compare malaysia high class apple
with singapore high class grapes
This one i really don’t understand.
—
Samivellu : I have nice Hair. (Yunnan’s hair)
Najib : I never bomb the girl. (I got bomb stock behind)
Abdullah : I work very hard zzzzzzzzz. (at night with jeanne)
Hishammuddin : I know how to produce keris. (let alone use it)
Chua Soi lek : She was a close friend i just paid her service fee only. (Funded by malaysian tax payers)
Ong Ka Ting : We are not the government that do not listen. (Don’t get me involve)
Khairy : I never use my father in law powers (Malaysia bapak saya punya)
Chew Mei Fun : I dont like meehoon (Cause i everyday fry meehon)
Mahathir : Anwar is a pervert (actually he is a pervee -the person being perved at)
Bush : The weapon of mass destruction (i wanna blow up osama)
Shaggy : It wasnt me ( I m Shagger not the person shagging)
Edison : I will leave hong kongfilm industry (more time for my own video)
ur blog is cool! i mean.. bout this choice thingy u posted makes a lot of sense!
neway.. i’ve added ur weblink on my blog.. hope u don mind.
cheerios!
election coming…everyone know this,i bet..but could you anyone explain why our election just run like ps2 game whereby UMNO will always win over DAP,KEADILAN or whatever it is,and our fellows malaysian would still stick their face close enough to tv screen to check out which is winning?aint that kepo tak ada benda nak buat r?
—
u wan to vote us for a better country or let those rocket jackass to rule and ruin our nation,said by najib and his cronies eversince…
(actually i can predict that they too wont make any improvement even they rule again after 12th election,it is important for politicians to be great liar..)dulan la
—
najib to bloggers: u want me to jail u all or you all go to jail?
mahathir to abdullah: you wanna step down now or i step u down?(no comment,truly)
bn candidates:you want us to stick these banners on your door or on your wall,stick now or later?(just stick it la,i rip it off later..diu)
Najib to the Mongolian girl, “Do you want to f*** me, or be f***ed by me?”
Najib to the people, “Do you want the government to increase the petrol price before the election, or after the election?”
Chew Mei fun
“Do you want to vote for barisan nasional or do you want May 13″
Definition - If you dont fucking vote me you will die !!!
—
Badawi to Jeanne
“You want to marry me or you want to marry the Prime Minister ?”
—
Najib
“Do you want to use C4 bomb or or you want to keep your job ?”
Robber: “要钱，要命，底裤?!!” - money, life or undie?!!
You want to dota now or later ?
(out of topic)
Can this be counted as a trick ???
Insurance Agent/MLM friend/anyone who wants your blood sweat money : When is a good time to meet up this month (Feb)?
Me: I think I should be free on 30th, dinner at 7pm lar
@igm,
> You want to dota now or later ? Can this be counted as a trick ???
Yes! This is a trick! The victim has been tricked to think that his choices is either to play now or later. If you ask it when you already know that he is tired and don’t feel like playing, it will be indeed a trick. Else, you could have asked, “You want to play dota or not?” A choice between play or don’t play, instead of now or later. If you really want him to play, the first question will give a better probability of him ‘choosing’ to play. You can ask, “You create game or I create game?” if you want to increase the probability of him choosing to play right now!
ah yap, why must give trick, leave them no option. example to get f**k with your gf. You don’t give me now, then tell me who can give me? the answer sure will be, okay lo , let do it. If she said go and kiew kai, wah fatt tat lo. the we can enjoy new dish everytime she no or i am tired.
Hilarious post!
You want to vote BN to have Chinese ministers or DAP and suffer no single Chinese representative?
– BN, the forever winning tricker
You want to watch real porn or hentai?
– errr… don’t want >.<
You want to use sohai noob feeder de STR naix or more pro de STR hero?
– errr….can’t i choose lina the cutie?
You want to bank in RM1k for me or 2k?
– walan, last time only RM500!
Pak Lah : Should I Resign Or Should I Retire?
After The Barisan Rakyat Won 5 States,
He Has To Take The Blame
Mind you, sometimes this tactic will make it seem like you are “forcing” them and will backfire on the user.
tell to your gf: you can either pick me or ahyap.
I had read most of your blog and u seems to be knowing many things~~so, I just wanna ask u that if 反对党 win, more than the half seat in parliment or more than 2/3 of it.. prime minister will change or will be remain~~ if it is change den it will from which party ?
and 1 more thing~~ where the continuous of the car immobilizer saleman story ??
Edison: Today with Cecelia or Ah Sha?
Samy: This month toll rise or fix less road? (Either way we’re still screwed)
I just did some self discover myself, thanks to this entry of yours! Keep it coming man.
intelligent investing..i’ve been waiting for your post~~
SO AM I!
where did he go~?!
it been a long time since the last post!!
LOL, I think he busy tfk at home everyday.
hahahahaha~~~~~funny~~last time my middle school teacher ask…
u wan me hit this hand or that hand….>..<”"” which means…if don wan gv me RM5 come on time,if late gv me RM5…(we cannot choose to no show up for class…cos at the end of month if not enuf attendence cannot take exam…)=.=”"”"
nice post. ^_^ really good explain. I wonder how u figure out this thing? refer from any article?
Should i tell u i love you before or after i kiss you?
Hehe…I hope this might work..If i use it…
Are you wonderful or wan tai fu(search for underwear)?
Najib during fuel increase: Do you want to live moderate lifestyle or face higher inflation?
(doesnt mater because fuel increase will lead to inflation anyway and our moderate lifestyle become no lifestyle so that fella can keep the petronas profits for himself and cronies and other arms deals etc etc)
Najib about NS: You can go to NS or go to jail.
(both decision leads to somethig bad anyway, but at least if you choose jail you might not end up dead)
Man, you have a talent to talk…
after petrol price increase , we hv multiple choices :
1. take bus ( wait forever )…
2. take lrt ( get pickpocketed )…
3. walk ( get robbed halfway )
4. work from home ( but the screamax sucks )
all prices of essential goods increased bcos of new petrol price …..
u : u wan up-hole ..or back-hole ?
gf : eeek !
u : dahling , we can’t afford condoms anymore !
this doesnt work all the time.we can just say screw it.i’m not gonna do any of what you asking me.that the most reliable answer most people with guts will tell the other person who’s asking.for example,one of my fren asked me to play dota.he said you want to play now or later,and i just told him forget it.i’m not gonna play today.this example fits will every of the choices that you guys have made.so this kind of trick wont work most of the time against people who use their time to think about it a liltle.
100% agree.. it’s just like justaskmeanything.com > Yes or No.. Even when you posted a question : you don’t have other choices but only to create a question with answer YES or NO.
Good catch Sai Yap.
Do you want to oil @ RM2.70 or oil @ RM4 per litre..
or
Do you want najib or anwar as your PM..
Haha.. nice one. Keep up the good work.
he he he funny … but its so real
i think i kena the coffin tactic already….. slammit