AhYap’s Blog

Cerita ini direka semata-mata untuk tujuan pendidikan.

Ong Ka Ting sedang berada di dalam rancangan “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” siaran NTV7. Keadaan sangat genting kerana dia telah menjawab soalan 500 ribu Ringgit dan sedang menunggu sama ada jawapannya betul!

Jalalludin Hassan, “Jawapan anda … … … … … SELEPAS INI!”

AhYap di depan TV, “Diu!”

(selepas iklan dan banyak lagi air liur dari Jalalludin Hassan)

Jalalludin Hassan, “… Jawapan anda … … … … … BETUL! Syabas dan anda sekarang mendapati 500,000 ringgit!”

(tepukan penonton)

Jalalludin, “Sekarang ke soalan 1 juta! Adakah anda dapat membawa balik 1 juta hari ini? … (air liur lagi) .. Adakah anda sudah bersiap sedia?”

Ong Ka Ting, “Ya, sila teruskan.”

Jalalludin, “Oh, soalan ini memang senang. Ini soalan politik! Tentu YB dapat menjawabnya dengan cepat!”

Ong Ka Ting pun shock sendiri apabila dia terdengar soalan itu soalan politik! Politik adalah mangkuk nasi beliau. Hadiah 1 juta sudah dekat di tangannya.

Jalalludin, “Di antara berikut, yang manakah ejaan betul bagi Menteri Pendidikan Malaysia? …

A. H-i-s-h-a-m-u-d-i-n,

B. H-i-s-h-a-m-u-d-d-i-n,

C. H-i-s-h-a-m-m-u-d-d-i-n,

D. H-i-s-h-a-r-m-u-d-d-i-n”

Ong Ka Ting, “Oh! Diu Lor!”

Jalalludin, “Apa tu? D?”

Ong Ka Ting, “Oh bukan, saya ingin mengunakan life line saya yang terakhir – Call-a-Friend.”

Jalalludin, “Siapa YB nak call?”

Ong Ka Ting, “Datuk Seri Abdullah Badawi.”

NTV7 cuba menghubungi Perdana Menteri…

Jalalludin, “Hello, Perdana Menteri? Saya Jalludin Hassan dalam rancangan ‘Who Wants To Be a Millionaire’ dan di sini adalah Datuk Seri Ong Ka Ting. Dia perlukan bantuan anda untuk menjawap soalan 1 juta! Anda ada 30 saat. Mulai sekarang.”

(30, 29, 28 …)

Ong Ka Ting, “Pak Lah! Bagaimana mengeja Hishamuddin?! H-i-s-h-a-m-u-d-i-n, H-i-s-h-a-m-u-d-d-i-n, H-i-s-h-a-m-m-u-d-d-i-n, H-i-s-h-a-r-m-u-d-d-i-n”

Abdullah, “Huh? Apa lu cakap, boleh perlahan sikit?”

Ong Ka Ting, “Lu eja terus bagi saya lah”.

Abdullah, “Ok, aku cuba, H-I-S-H-A … eh ada R tak? H-I-S-H-A-M … hmmm, satu M ke dua M? H-I-S-H-A-M-U-D-D … eh, satu D ke dua D?! …ehhh … ehhh … H-I-S-H-A ….”

Jalalludin, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ….”

Ong Ka Ting, “Harlooooo… harlo? Uh.”.

Jalalludin, “YB, apa jawapan yang anda ingin pilih.”

Ong Ka Ting, “Hmmm… Hmmm… Saya mau ambil 500 ribu dan balik. Tak mau teka lah! Susah sangat ni!”

—-TAMAT—-

Tujuan utama saya menulis cerita ini adalah untuk mengajar para pembaca ejaan yang betul bagi Menteri Pendidikan kita. Jika nama Menteri Pendidikan pun tak boleh eja, macam mana boleh kita kata Sistem Pendidikan kita baik?

Jawapan yang betul, adalah … … … … SELEPAS INI!

&*%@$!^%^&%^

Jawapan yang betul mengikut wikipedia adalah C. H-i-s-h-a-m-m-u-d-d-i-n.

Tak ada ‘r’. Dua ‘m’ dan dua 2 ‘d’.

Tak payah malu jika anda eja salah sebab ada 741 laman web pun eja salah menurut Google.

Lagipun, dalam wikipedia Hishammuddin, ejaan Hishammuddin (dua ‘m’) digunakan 9 kali dan Hishamuddin (satu ‘m’) digunakan 6 kali.

Google punya spell-check pun tak tepat.

Mana satu yang memang memang betul? Kita perlu check dia punya IC lor!

Read this good joke – Malaysian Hell.

I wrote a comment to the post, but Maria, the owner of the blog, modified my comment to -

“This post is really good! I like it very much!”

But what I originally wrote was

“This post is fucking good! I like it very much!”

Wahahaha. This teaches me a lesson not to simply fuck at others people blog.

Everyday 8.2 girls in Malaysia get raped (and that is only for reported cases). The government seldom discuss about it.

But then when Negaraku is being sang in R&B by a Malaysia student studying in Taiwan, it is discussed so many times in the parliament, and has been commented by so many ministers and government officers. Chinese papers have a few pages on it everyday.

There are people who want to revoke his citizenship. There are people who want to forfeit his passport so he can’t return home. There are people who say he must be punished although they don’t know exactly which law to use (Oh!). They say, they can definitely find one to prosecute him.

Our government had built the highest building in the world, and yet their heart is so small. They are extremely sensitive and is unable to tolerate small little things. And yet, they ignore all the big issues and pretend they don’t see it. They like to make small issues big and keep quiet about the big issues.

What is the use of celebrating our 50th year-old birthday when there are still double standard on so many things?

Why is it that someone with status apologized, thing can be settle and why a small citizen apologize, he still have to be punished?

Why the UMNO representatives who make sensitive comments LIVE on TV only get some ‘discipline action’ from the party?

Why someone who build a multi million castle without permit can settle by a few tears saying that his old house is too small for his family? He only needs to pay a small sum of fine.

Why my Primary School Sam Tet Ipoh doesn’t even have a small field and a hall for so many years? And we only have a basketball court for our assembly. While other school have big halls with air-cond and big football fields!

Why our Minister of Education, Mr H (I don’t know how to spell it so I don’t want to spell it because if I spell in wrongly, I might end up in the jail! This is Malaysia) can be a hero and make the headline of Chinese papers when he allows 2 Chinese schools in Malaysia to reallocate?

He can be a hero just by giving the ‘permission’ to relocate and not the money! And the Chinese society have to find money themselves to relocate. Poi Lam and Wan Hwa Ipoh has been trying to relocate without sufficient fund for more than 10 years.

And yesterday paper, why some schools have to pay for their own electricity and water bills while some schools can be paid by the government?

Why we need to build the highest building in the world that has never been occupied fully until today WHILE we don’t have enough seats in our local Universities?

The government want to sue YouTube because of the Negaraku video. This shows how intelligent our leaders are when it comes to understanding the internet. Youtube has hundred of thousands videos online and how they are going to monitor all of them?

Even if they monitor all of them, you really think Negaraku is so popular in the world that they know what is it? Mr Nazri, how many countries National Anthem can you sing and recognized? How do leaders like that can build a good internet infrastructure for us when their understanding on how the internet works is so little.

Some leaders (ahem, leaders) says the Government should stop sending Chinese students to study in Taiwan. Oh! Chinese students who study in Taiwan are those who can’t get into the local universities and they are actually paying for themselves! They thought that the Government is paying for them because they got so many JPA and government scholarships for themselves! They are just slapping their own face. And the lyrics of the song does talked about this and it proofs again that they didn’t listen to the song before they comment.

I am not voting on the next election. I am not celebrating our 50th birthday day. If I have to go to jail if I don’t vote, then I will go to vote. If I have to go to jail if I don’t celebrate our national day, then I will celebrate. Don’t play play! You can go to jail for a lot of reasons in Malaysia. Our government is hypersensitive on a lot of small things.

Nazri , “We cannot be like the West where you can have the underwear with the design of the Union Jack. In Britain, you can insult the Queen or the flag, I don’t care, but in this country we have laws and we cannot create a precedent where you commit an offence, apologise and get away with it.”

We have the highest building in the world but we have the smallest heart! We always criticized the value of the West and yet we are the one with the smaller heart.

The market is very hot in the pass few months. Almost all people are talking about the stock market. The newspaper even make a few headlines for the market plunge last week alone.

Most people don’t understand what is stock and what they are buying. All they know is that there is a counter NAME and then there is a PRICE. And what they need to do is to speculate the movement of price, hoping to buy low and sell high to make some money.

They can use numerous techniques and most of them rely on rumors and tips. Some that are more advanced might use charting techniques which is know as technical analysis. Tips or charts, they are the same gang. They try to speculate on the price movement to make money.

Let’s say you have RM100,000 to invest in KLSE.

You speculate all in 1 counter and your investment go up to RM110,000 in 1 month (you may have used tips or charts in making the buying decision). Speculators believe that stocks are only paper money and only cash is the real money. When they hold stock, they feel risky. They believe that their money is in ‘unsafe’ position. So in order to see the real money and to protect their profit, they need to sell the stock and get the cash. After selling, they think their profit is now ’safe’. This is called ‘profit taking’ or ‘taking profit’.

The problem IS -

What are you going to do with your RM110,000 ’safe’ cash now? It might be safe now, but what do you want to do with it now? You might spend a few hundred or a few thousand to celebrate, but most probably you will still end up having RM100,000+ in cash.

So probably you will have to buy another counter (using another tip or chart). And this is irony because at first, you sell a counter because you believe holding a stock is risky and you must take profit. Now after you sell one, you have to buy another one and put yourself back to the ‘risk’ of holding a stock!

Are you sure you can pick a new one that can make you money again? If you invest based on pure luck, you can still be lucky for a few times but not definitely not forever. If you have to switch from 1 counter to another every month, you have to switch 12 times a year and 120 times in 10 years! Can you have a lucky streak of 120 times based on tips and charts? And most of us have more than 10 years to live!

While you can make money in stock, you can also lose money! You can always lose $10,000 instead of making $10,000.

This is the problem with short term trading. You didn’t reduce your risk in anyway because after ‘taking profit’ you still need to buy another counter. By thinking that ‘taking profit’ make your money safe, you are just lying to yourself. Your money is never ’safe’. You are just transferring the risk to another counter.

What do you need to do with your money after you sell is the biggest problem for a short term trader.

You need to trouble yourself in making new decisions and selections every time after you sell. And you won’t be lucky every time with your new picks. When the market is hot, you might have more luck on picking the next right counter. But in a sideway (now) or bear market, I don’t think you will have much luck speculating.

—

A long term value investor, on the other hand doesn’t need to do much with his investment. The market is so red on the week I went to Sipadan, and yet I can dive happily without looking at the market.

Long term value investors are buying for the long term. They don’t need to adjust their portfolio daily, weekly or monthly. And because they only buy GOOD businesses at DISCOUNT price, their risk is minimized. They don’t chase price upwards and they will even refuse to buy GOOD businesses that is not selling at DISCOUNT. They will stay away from BAD businesses that don’t have a good future. They don’t speculate on the next BIG thing, e.g. the next Microsoft.

You might argue to me that it is very hard to know the value of a stock. I FULLY agree with you because after I read 20+ books on investing, I still don’t know exactly how to evaluate a business. It does require a lot of work just to understand a business before you can put a value on it.

After reading 20+ investing books doesn’t make me a super investor that can pick and evaluate stocks. But, it let me know exactly what is the RIGHT STRATEGY for investing. It is not tips, not charts, not short term, not speculating. You also don’t need to guess who is in the next Microsoft or Bill Gates. That strategy is called ‘Value Investing’. It can be explained in 1 short sentence -

“Buy wonderful businesses at discounted price.”

People like you and me don’t have much time in evaluating businesses and calculating their value. If we believe in Value Investing, then all we need to do is to find a fund manager who practice value investing, who has a good track record for the pass few years (the longer the better) and have him invest the money for us! They are professionals, they spend all their time on evaluating businesses. Let outsource the job to them and have them work for us!

That explain why most of my money is in ICAP and why I can still dive happily in Sipadan when the KLSE dive 100+ points to below 1,300 last week. It only screws short term traders and speculators, it doesn’t screw value investor. Irony, value investor are more happy when the stock market dive because that’s the time when lots of wonderful businesses are sold at discounted price!

It takes me 4 years to fully adapt to value investing. I have been a short term trader and speculator. I have used tips and charts. I have been an active options trader for 2 years (buy and sell for over 1,000 times). I have attended several seminars and read a few books on trading, options and technical analysis. I have gone thorough a lot before I come to this understanding. For most of you, I don’t think you can understand the power of value investing from this post alone. Most people have to go through things themselves before they can understand. And unfortunately, most will never understand.

Good luck with your money!

—

Related Post:
Value investing has a lot to do with Price and Earning. Earning let you know the value of a business while the price let you know if it is selling at a discount.

Sojai is different than Sohai. Sohai are normal people with normal brain but do stupid stuff. Sojai do weird stuff because their brain already got some wiring problem. So here means ‘crazy’ or ‘insane’ and jai means ‘kid’. Sojai that are serious will be locked up in Hospital Tanjung Rambutan or Hospital Tampoi.

This series is not to look down on them but is for laugh only because I can’t understand why there are so many sojai near my house! You will be amazed.

Sojai #1 is a happy sojai. He calls every man God-Father (义父) and every woman God-Mother (义母). If he sees you he will come to you and says, “God Father, give me 1 ringgit.” (义父，俾一文我). Then after he get his 1 ringgit, he will run to a nearby grocery store to buy 2 cigarettes. He will immediately start smoking one and stuck the other one to his ear. He will then walk like the king on the street enjoying every buff.

He will shit anywhere when he wants to shit. He will just pull down his pants and shit. There is a kind of firecracker that look like a match. You scratch it and throw it away and it will explode in a few seconds, something like a grenade. And one time when this sojai is shitting happily, some naughty kid lighted up the firecracker and threw it under his ass. The firecracker exploded and he jumped up like a rocket!

My father never gives him money because if you give him once, he will come to you everyday. But even if you don’t give him money, he will still come to you occasionally. And what surprise us is last week, when he come to my dad again, he didn’t say,”God father, give me 1 Ringgit.”

Instead, he said, “God father, give me 50 cents.” Wow! After so many years, he finally realized my father will not give him 1 ringgit and he is now offering my father 50% discount to hope that my father will change his mind. He is getting smarter and using psychology on us!

There are more sojai stories that I will be writing, such as the ‘fuck you sojai’, the ‘I am useless sojai’, the ‘lottery sojai’ and a lot more. And they all stay near and wander near my house.