AhYap’s Blog

I live in a kampung called Ipoh where we only have 200,00 people. In KL, there are 4.2 million people! That’s 21 times more than Ipoh. In recent years, I have been traveling to KL quite often and I find that I really have to pay my honor to KL people. A lot of things that seems unbearable to me are acceptable to KL people.

1. Respect for KL Drivers in Traffic Jam.

KL people can spend a few hours in the traffic everyday. Usually they will have to drive 1 hour+ to work and 1 hour+ back to work. At least 2 hours a day is wasted in the car. This number is scary if you multiplied that with the number of people driving everyday.

2. Respect for KL People Carrying Laptop while Shopping and Dining.

KL is popular of laptop thieves. Leaving your laptop in the car is unsafe and thus you can see a lot of KL people carrying their laptop while walking in KLCC and dining in SS2. Those who go clubbing after work also need to carry their laptop along.

3. Repect for KL People Paying for Parking Fee

Parking everywhere cost money. Parking at KLCC can cost more than RM10! Parking outdoor at Bukit Bintang area is RM5 on weekdays and RM7 on weekends. Parking fee at Mid Valley is now per hour basis instead of per entry. And more scary, parking at night at some places that should be free are now required to pay as well because the heavily-tattooed guard will tell you, “We take care of your car and make sure no one will scratch your car”.

4. Respect for KL People Paying for lots of Toll.

Thanks to our Minister of Toll, Sammy Vellu on this. If I drive home to Bangi using Jalan Cheras I have to pay 3 tolls.

5. Repect for KL People Queuing for Cinema Tickets

KL has the biggest cinemas and yet people have to queue so long for the tickets. The KLCC queuing line is especially shocking to me where the cinema waiting area can be full of queued up people waiting to buy their tickets.

6. Repect for the KTM Komuter that always break down

Ride it 3 times and it broke down twice. In one occasion it broke down over 1 hour without air conditioning. Baby is crying non-stop and everyone is sweating like shit. Rude words can be listen all the time. I am OK because I am staring at a pretty girl for that 1 hour. Wahahaha. Later they need to send another komuter to pull our broken komuter back to the station and we have to ride another komuter.

7. Respect for the non-standard price Taxi Drivers charge

Taxi drivers in KL are very interesting. They can charge multiple ways, such as pre-negotiated rate, meter rate or mouth rate. Mouth rate means he don’t use the meter nor the pre-negotiated rate but after you reach, he open his mouth and tell you how much he wants. Short distance in KL can cost RM10! Passengers always feel like they are overpaying while drivers always feel like they are undercharging.

8. Respect for KL People Sense of Direction

Ok, this is a real respect. With so many roads and so many places in KL. I do really respect KL people who can navigate everywhere in KL and didn’t get lost.

9. Respect for KL People who Live So Near to Highway (and Electric Cable)

This is suggested by Ernest in his comment and I totally agree with it! Especially the highway near Sri Petaling. Some also live very near to Electric cable tower where they can hang their cloths there free of charge.

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Here is why I love Ipoh. Sometimes there will be traffic jam but it is bearable. You will wish to have our type of traffic jam. Not much high-tech people here so not much people carrying notebook around. Parking is easy and cheap everywhere. Parking at Ipoh Parade is RM1 per entry and parking at other shopping complexes are free including Jaya Jusco, Tesco, Giant, etc. There is no toll in Ipoh. And you don’t need to queue 100 meters for your movie tickets.

Need a taxi? Call the taxi call center 2534188 and all prices are fixed. And the town is so small that there is no need for LRT or KTM komuter. Although a little sense of direction is required, you won’t get that lost in Ipoh. The last time I wanted to go to KLCC, the two jagung were very big and near to me. I made a bad turning and I lost until the jagung were missing from my eyesight. That’s KL.

But don’t feel disappointed if you are a KL people, because Streamyx in Ipoh is as fucked up as yours.

AhYap is online now at LCCT with the free Airport Wimax. He should now be on the flight but why the heck he is still blogging in the airport?

Because the dai sohai miss his flight!

AK5154 Tawau 15:25 Berlepas! (Berlepas = Departed! = Fly already!)

This is really joke of the day. I am already at the airport at 2 something, how can I miss the flight? I also don’t know, I just remember the last thing I do before trying to board is pee. I reach the boarding gate at 15:13 according to my watch, they say their watch is 15:20. They see I must board 10 minutes before the flight.

Ok, well, hmmm….

I think the reason for the flight delay is to give me some free time to blog using LCCT free WiMax so you guys can laugh at this dai sohai.

I am now waiting for the next flight at 17:50 which ticket I just bought at RM372 (1 journey 2 tickets). Please pray for me that I won’t miss this flight again.

Oh! Boarding now at 17:24! So early! Bye bye, I have to be kia su this time to queue up early!

The purpose of newspaper writing news on rape cases and crimes is to let the reader increase their awareness and be more careful in the society. That’s to make the reader smarter.

However, newspaper sometime can be very busybody and disclose information that I think SHOULD NEVER be published on newspaper.

An Ipoh girl was raped and killed in Sg Long, Kajang.

Why the newspaper need to publish the exact road and house number of the crime scene? Because it is Visit Malaysia Year 2007 so everyone nearby (my KL house is near) can drive there and pay a visit?

And why the newspaper need to publish the victim’s parents restaurant name and location? So that the whole town can pay a visit and eat there? My girl friend stay in walking distance to the restaurant. Thanks to the newspaper, now the whole township knows exactly whose daughter get raped and killed and know exactly where they work. This has become the hot topic of the town. Every time they drive pass the shop, they can say, “This is the shop that the daughter get raped and killed”.
Newspaper, give them a life!

They don’t deserve all this troubles. They already have enough pain. They don’t need a few thousands people reminding them the death of their girl for the rest of their life. Even for people who are not busybody, it is quite hard to ‘talk’ normally to them again when they know about what happen to their daugher. Their business will also be affected.

There are also people who will go to them or call to send their condolence. This is also a BAD thing that actually gives more burden. Every call will remind them of the pain. While you might have a sincere heart to call to ‘care’, for them it is just another burden. You are doing nothing good to them.

If one of your family members die today, and one thousand people with a sincere heart come and say to you, “Don’t feel too upset ….”. Do you really think it will make you better?

Yucks, newspaper. Busybody. Give you my middle finger.

Don’t worry, I am not going to kill myself. This is just a post about my weird behaviour. Hopefully it is not that boring.

I am a guy who like to eliminate things. I don’t keep a lot of things. 

I used to be like my mum, who will hold on to everything. For example, I used to keep all my primary scholl textbooks, PMR and SPM reference books many many years. I used to keep all of my old cloths, all my exam papers, all exercise books, etc. I refused to thow any away or give to anyone. I felt like ‘They are mine’. I always thought that ‘Someday’ I will need them.

My mum even better. She keeps lots of old shoes and cloths that she no longer wear. She doesn’t allow me to throw away my faulty 14″ CRT monitor that I used with my 486. She keeps a lot of new bowls, forks and kitchenware in the cupboard for years and only use the 2nd grade one because she wants to keep the ‘new’ one for use later. The later is always become never.  And the new always become old.

My grandmother (my mother’s mother) even better, she keeps chicken cages until today although she has not been raring chickens for decades. My mother is definitely her daughter.

I once want to throw away a table that I have disembled long time ago but lost all the screws. So it cannot be assembled back. She, on her own, carried all the table boards from upstairs to her car when I was not at home and fetched all of them to my grandmother house. She did that again with my old 486 computer table.

My behaviour, used to be exactly like my mother and my grandmother. I even used to keep a lot of my childhood toys!

…

Last few years, I begin to change. Instead of hanging to things, I have learned to let go. I feel guilty that I have not given my PMR and SPM books to someone because I never touched them at all after all these years. I were hanging on these books because I feel like they are my properties. I thought that ‘one day’ I might need to read them again. But when I realized I no longer need them anymore, it was too late as the books were obsolete and the only meaningful thing to do is to sell them to old newspaper collector.

I bought a lot of original books in Universities because I realize if I have a new book that smell good, I am more willing to study it then a photocopied 2-page-shink-to-1-page book. I donated all of them to my library 1 year after I left my University.

Realizing that I had a lot of old cloths that were in mint condition but I never wore anymore, I packed and donated all of them in the last 2 years. I also had a lot of shoes and in the recent Chinese New Year, I donated 8 pairs of shoes that I were keeping for years but never wore! One pair of the shoes is a RM200+ Dr. Cardin. It is the most expensive shoes that I ever bought when I were Form 5. I am guilty that I only wore it a few times. I bought it because I used to have the mindset, “I need to follow others people style and fashion”. I got a pair of jeans that I have donated as well because again, I bought it because someone say it is the fashion but I didn’t like it at all. I just wore it a few times.

Now, I only have 3 pairs of shoes and 2 pairs of Jeans.

I have given my favorite remote control car to my newphew after keeping it untouched for more than 10 years!

I also have the tendency to keep things very neatly. My room doesn’t look ‘pretty’ but it is extremely neat. If you rate a guy’s room, mine will be in top 1% in terms of tidyness. I can always find something easily because I simply don’t keep a lot of things.

All my important documents are kept nicely in a few files.

All my books are keep nicely in a few book shelves.

All my cloths are keep semi-nicely in my cupboard. (I don’t have much cloths)

Even my computer! I have all my filed arranged very nicely and I will delete everything that is not important. I delete emails after I read them too. My important data, is less than 2GB and I can migrate them back and forth from my laptop in 2 minutes.

Why suddenly I like to elimate things and keep things nicely?

The reason, is weird.

If I die tomorrow, my parents don’t need to be bothered with all my stuffs. I don’t want to leave a mess after I die. I want to give them the minimum troubles. Almost all my stuffs are in my room. I have

1. A few shelves of books
2. Cloths in the cupboard
3. My computer
4. Files that contain important documents arranged nicely (my will, insurance policy, financial info, etc).

So, if I die tomorrow, they can just donate my books and cloths. Keep my computer for their own use, and open my files to get all my important documents. They don’t need to waste a lot of time looking for things, figuring where I put my stuffs, and going through a lorry of stuffs and documents one by one just to know what they are.

At 27, AhYap has prepared to die.

Soufu wrote a post on Affiliate: a decent job for Aseans?

Suddenly I have a lot to say too!

You really think that it is easy to make money online? It seems to me that the only way to make money online, is to TEACH people how to make money online.

That’s the same as GOLD RUSH. 150 years ago, everyone thought that there were lots of gold beneath the land. So a lot of people rushed to dig and dig and dig. But they didn’t make any money because there isn’t even 0.01% of gold that they have imagined. They are just dreaming.

Guess who make the most money? The guy who sold these dreamers the digging tools (shovels, etc) and also Mr Levi Strauss, who sell them Levi’s Jeans!

Now the same thing is happening again. It’s really hard to dig for gold from the internet but is far more easy to sell the Shovel and Jeans to the greedy people that want to make money online!

There are thousands of online ebooks and courses sold online that teach you ‘How to make money online’.

Many so-called guru in Malaysia are giving seminars and workshops to those who want to learn how to make money online.

There is a Malaysian guy sending out SPAM email asking us to join his workshop for RM250 and he will teach us ‘How to rank #1 in Google!”. And that’s really a joke. If he can rank #1 for the word ‘Mortgage’ in Google, he will be an multi-millionaire. He don’t need to organize a workshop for RM250. I can instantly teach you how to rank #1 in Google. I will rank #1 for the keyword rankno1ingoogle in a few days because that keyword exist only once in the entire internet and that’s AhYap.com! Pay me RM250 please.

Ranking #1 in Google is not enough to make you money. You need to rank #1 for profitable keywords. Rank #1 for the keyword “Najib” won’t make you rich. You need to rank #1 for something like “credit card”. And if you can rank #1 for “credit card”, I will pay you RM25,000.

And there is a woman who called herself “The #1 Internet Marketing Coach”. Yucks. She called herself so because she said Google ranked her #1 for the keyword “Internet Marketing Coach”.

This really makes me laugh. Google ranks you #1 for the keyword “Internet Marketing Coach” only means you are #1 for that keyword in the search results and doesn’t mean you are the #1 Internet Marketing Coach. ^&%@##$@#%%

AhYap.com ranked #4 for the keyword ’sohai’ so AhYap is the #4 Sohai in the world?!!! Wahahaha (maybe true).

But AhYap.com ranked #1 for the keyword ‘AhYap’ so I am the smartest AhYap in the world? Oh, I thought you say I am the #4 sohai just now?

And if she is so good, she should have ranked #1 for the keyword ‘Internet Marketing’, not ‘Internet Marketing Coach’. There are a lot of people search for ‘Internet Marketing’ but there is not much people search for ‘Internet Marketing Coach’. She did ranked #4 for ‘Internet Marketing’ if you search in Google but that’s because we are using a Malaysia IP. If you are looking at the US results, she is no where in the Top 100. Shame, shame. And I don’t think she knows how to make Google shows US results.

And her website has only a PageRank of 4. (PageRank is a score given by Google to grade a page with 10 being the highest)

Even AhYap as the #4 sohai in the world has PageRank of 3 while the #3 cibai in the world Mr Cibailang has a PageRank of 4 too! So cibailang is also as good as the “#1 Internet Marketing Coach”.

But she is really a RICH WOMAN! Because she is selling you the tools to make money online! She makes a lot of money by teaching you how to make money online!

And remember she doesn’t make those money online because she is organizing her seminars offline in her computer lab and advertising her tools and seminars on local newspaper, which are OFFLINE.

And why it works even she is not as good as soufulow when it comes to internet marketing? Because you only need to be in Standard 3 level to qualify teaching a kindergarden student (small baby). 99% people who want to make money online are internet marketing idiots. Probably don’t even have kindergraden level, just baby learning how to walk. If your internet marketing skill is at Standard 3, you can easily teach a kindergarden student. You don’t need to be a PHD in Internet Marketing.

Anyone wants to pay me RM250 for a 2-hour internet marketing seminar? I am happy to entertain as I believe I got Standard 4 in Internet Marketing.

Regards,
AhYap
The #4 Sohai In The World according to Google.