AhYap’s Blog

I help them to fix their typo. Hopefully their webmaster will update their homepage soon.

Experience the Internet like never before

With tmnet streamyx, you get broadband access service, which stays perpetually connected to the Internet with speed bandwidths of 8k 512k up to 50kbps 2mbps.

So, now when you download your favourite songs, movies, music videos and even accessing your favourite websites, you will won’t have to wait for ever and ever, leaving you with more time to enjoy everything except the Internet as you like.

Broadband your life today and experience the World Wide Web like never before.

Shame on Streamyx!

I am having problem connecting to my site today. Usually I won’t have any problem because my site is hosted at CyberJaya (very near compare to USA). But today 90% of data packets are lost when I connect to AhYap.com! And I do not know why streamyx route my connection to Australia half way?! Pandai betul streamxy routing facility.

Oh, it takes me 30 minutes to login to my blog, upload my screen capture and write this post. Streamyx Sucks!

All saman rate for car is RM70 except accident & running red light (RM150) and not using seatbelt (RM50).

So use your brain next time when you want to bribe a police, don’t believe in the bullshit, “Ini Saman Tiga Ratus Ringgit!”, and let the police scare the shit off you and end up you need to beg them to take your RM100! Use the following formula when calculating the amount of kopi duit.

Bribe Amount = Number of Police x RM10.

So,

1 Police = RM10

2 Police = RM20

3+ Police = RM30 (maximum)

Remember that price are always negotiable! These are the HIGHEST price you can pay.

Things that you should remember when you get caught.

1. Don’t look like a virgin even if you are one! Pretend that you have been caught many times and you are their loyal customer. If they know you are a little virgin, you will be raped.

2. You need to continue talking! Don’t keep quiet. Keep talking shit and they will always talk back to you because they want to find a way to get to the point.

3. Don’t talk like a lawyer! Talk like you are talking to your best friend. Must Kawan Kawan Tau!

4. Make your first offer using 50% of the bribe amount (i.e. RM10 if 2 police). This is very important because they will say no to the first offer. Then you act like it is very hard for you and you talk cock that you are very poor, you then increase it to the bribe amount. They will happily accept it because all people want to bargain a bit than only feel happy.

If you are good, this should be settled within 10 minutes guaranted.

What if you do not have enough money or your ringgit notes are too big (i.e RM50/RM100)?

Negotiate the price *first* before telling them you don’t have the money or small notes! Then, let them hold your IC/Driving License so they know you can’t run away. You can now

1. Go withdraw cash at ATM or go back house to take if near.

2. If notes are too big, simply go to 7-eleven to buy a condom or you can go pump petrol at the nearest petrol station. (kopitiam, shops will also work! Use your brain)

This method is based on the concept, “Making a new friend is better than making a new enemy”.

Disclaimer: These are my little bullshit and for laughing purposes only, don’t use it as I am not responsible if you burned your ass with it.

The following is a list of the new compound rates (old rates in brackets):

Accidents not involving non-compoundable cases

• Lorry/bus - RM200 (RM300)
• 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van - RM150 (RM300)
• Motorcycle - RM100 (RM300)

Speeding

• Lorry/bus - RM90 (RM150)
• 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van - RM70 (RM150)
• Motorcycle - RM50 (RM150)

Not using seatbelt

• Taxi - RM50 (RM150)
• Van - RM50 (RM80)
• 4WD/Car - RM50 (RM70)

Not using helmet

• Motorcycle - RM30 (RM70)

Making an illegal U-turn

• Lorry/bus - RM90 (RM200)
• 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van - RM70 (RM100)
• Motorcycle - RM50 (RM70)

Overtaking in a dangerous manner/Cutting queue

• Lorry/bus - RM90 (RM200)
• 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van - RM70 (RM100)
• Motorcycle - RM50 (RM70)

Running a red light

• Lorry/bus - unchanged (RM200)
• 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van - RM150 (RM200)
• Motorcycle - RM100 (RM150)

Using a cellphone while driving

• Lorry/bus - RM90 (RM200)
• 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van - RM70 (RM100)
• Motorcycle - RM50 (RM70)

Not giving way before turning

• Lorry/bus - RM90 (RM200)
• 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van - RM70 (RM100)
• Motorcycle - RM50 (RM70)

Driving license-related offences

• Lorry/bus - RM90 (RM150)
• 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van - RM70 (RM80)
• Motorcycle - RM30 (RM70)

Road tax-related offences

• Lorry/bus - RM90 (RM150)
• 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van - RM70 (RM80)
• Motorcycle - RM30 (RM50)

Driving in an emergency lane

• Lorry/bus - RM90 (RM200)
• 4WD/Car/Taxi/Van - RM70 (RM100)
• Motorcycle - RM50 (RM70)

Warrant-related cases

• All vehicles - 1X the offer rate, not exceeding RM300 (RM300)

(Test to VisualWare UK-London server)

Diu! Analog 56kbps modem is 4 times faster than my broadband!

(Test to Visualware USA-Virginia Server)

I paid RM88/month for 1024kbps download and see what I get for the last few weeks!!! 45.8kbps?!?!?! Even my old 56kbps analog modem is faster than my broadband!!!

Update: AhYap has stop complaining about Streamyx so he can Live In Peace. Please read his final post on what to do with your slow streamyx connection  for his final post.

There are always rumours that said crocodile hunter dies because he is eaten by a crocodile. But today he really died. He is not eaten by a crocodile but sting by a sting-ray in the heart.

Steve Irwin was in the water at Batt Reef shooting a segment for a series called “Ocean’s Deadliest” when he swam too close to one of the animals.

Steve Irwin, the ebullient Australian whose catch cry of “Crikey!” helped him rise to global fame as television’s the “Crocodile Hunter,” was killed Monday by a stingray while filming on the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.

Irwin was in the water at Batt Reef, off the remote coast of northeastern Queensland state, shooting a segment for a series called “Ocean’s Deadliest” when he swam too close to one of the animals, which have a poisonous barb on their tails, said John Stainton, a friend and colleague.

“He came on top of the stingray and the stingray’s barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart,” said Stainton, who was on board Irwin’s boat, Croc One, at the time.

Crew members called emergency services in the nearest city, Cairns, and administered CPR as they rushed to nearby Low Isle to meet a rescue helicopter.

Medical staff pronounced Irwin dead when they arrived a short time later, Stainton said.

Irwin was famous for his enthusiasm for wildlife and for regularly getting up close and personal with dangerous animals in his television program “Crocodile Hunter,” which was first broadcast in Australia in 1992 before it was picked up by the Discovery network, catapulting him to international celebrity.

Went to bought Amanah Saham Wawasan 2020 this morning at 8.45am (a unit trust fund that have sound performance, around 6-10% per annum). Since I already got an account opened last time, I can just take a number and wait. My number is 34. For those who didn’t have an account, they have to queue up! Heard that the person who get the 1st place came at 6.00am. A young man at position 5 came at around 7.00am.

The best of the story is not how many people are queuing up or how early they came.

There are 100 people waiting to but the fund, but only 1 person manage to buy. Not even the second person! Fund sold off immediately after the first person completes his transaction. haha.

1. There are hundred thousands other people queuing at 808 banks (Maybank, BCB & RHB) and 662 post offices in the whole country to grab the fund.

2. BACK DOOR! Those who have ‘relationship’ with the bank might have been buying even before those who use the main door. ‘Relationship’ can be bank manager’s father-in-law, bank officer’s daughter, security guard’s friend, etc. Today, they said their server is offline and is not able to enter any transaction for the first 20 mins. Offline? Maybe at the back of the office a computer has already been connected and a staff is busy entering transactions for all the back door customers. When the are ‘managed to connect’, it actually means they have finish processing all the back door transactions.

People who know how to use back door and relationship get all the tenders, loans, agreement, license, promotions, grant, sales, etc.

I make a post few weeks ago and it reads, “Perak will see 60 percent of its populated areas go wireless come September, said Menteri Besar Datuk Seri Tajol Rosli.” Delayed from June. Now it is confirmed delay again to November. Why not just make it to Chinese New Year? Zzzzzzz

August 21, 2006 (News Source) Perak wants to bring WiFi Internet access to 80% of its towns as early as November, half a year earlier than planned. [ahYap: Last time say June, now say November still 'half a year earlier than plan?]

Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Mohamad Tajol Rosli Ghazali said he hoped to see this in place by the time Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi visited the state.

The Prime Minister has been invited to launch the RM24mil Perak Multimedia Super Corridor in Meru here along with the Wireless Perak initiative in November.

Tajol Rosli said the wireless service was part of the state’s efforts to increase information and communications technology knowledge among residents and spearhead economic growth.

“Once we have set up the Perak MSC near the Perak Hi-Tech Park, we can attract local and foreign investors,” he told reporters on Saturday after the Pasir Salak Umno division delegates meeting, some 55km from here.

“We also hope that the Multimedia Development Corporation can advise us so that the Perak MSC does not compete with the MSC in Cyberjaya and other states.”

On Friday, Abdullah had suggested that cybercities and MSCs develop their own specialisations rather than compete against each other.

Tajol Rosli added that the state had attracted more than 10 investors to set up operations at the 1,200ha Perak Hi-Tech Park in Klebang here.

One company, he said, was investing RM5bil to produce new-generation thin film transistor-liquid crystal display monitor screens.

On the state’s proposal to draw underground water, the mentri besar said they were studying whether it could be drawn, treated and distributed competitively to consumers in Kuala Lumpur and Selangor.

Oh God, Dota Sucks! I am swicthing to smoking!

Viagra is always the winner of SPAM in my mailbox. Reason for such SPAM are obvious, they want to sell their viagra pills. They want to make money from you.

One exception is SPAM that contain viruses and trojans. Their purpose is not to sell you anything but to infect your computer with virus.

However I couldn’t understand why I am receiving so much SPAM on stocks, which usually give you hot tips on which stock to buy. They are not selling anything or trying to infect you with virus.

The only reason that make sense to me is that they are syndicates who try to make money via the recommended stock. They want to move the stock by creating news (using SPAM).

What I want to show you is the SPAM Stock Tracker. A guy named Joshua processed 4,272 SPAM stock emails and compiled an investment portfolio by following all the hot-tips. The result is amazing. Total investment would be $69,010.00 and you will lose $45,794,70. That’s 66.4% lost!