AhYap’s Blog

For me, the reason that Life-Is-Good is because there are always new things for me to learn. I don’t have much talent that is born with me (other than things related to computer, and maybe talking cock) and I am very proud because I learn most things after I was born. And that is the fun part, if you have skills that you are born with, for example, incredible mathematic skill or drawing skill when you are 3 years old, you can’t teach people how to do that! But on the other hand, if you sucks at something at first and master it later in your life, you can teach people how to do that because you have gone through it yourself. And that explain why my classmates always scold me, "Like this also don’t know meh." Because he is born smart and he just don’t understand why other people can’t understand it.

[And that also explain why I can't teach people computing and how to talk cock]

Today, I am going to teach you a trick that I use ALL THE TIME to trick people on doing what you want them to do. Wahahahah. Bad! Bad! Bad AhYap! Even if you don’t want to use it, knowing it help you to figure out why you always get tricked by somebody else to do things that you don’t want to do! And the next time your insurance agent and MLM friends do that to you, you will know, and smile, and give him your middle finger, and tell him, ‘Don’t use that trick one me, mother fucker!’ :p

Let’s begin.

Hypnosis is playing with the brain. You first understand how the brain works and then you play with it (trick it/manipulate it).

Read this sentence 3 times - ‘Output’ of our brain must be logically linked to the ‘Input’. I am sure if you read it 300 times you also don’t know what does it mean. Examples will help.

Example #1

If I ask you in English, "What is your name Sir?" (the input), your answer will most likely be, "I am Mr Yap". (the output)

But if I ask you in Malay, "Siapa nama encik?" (the input), your brain will need to logically answer in Malay, "Nama saya Encik Yap". (the output)

So if I ask you in Chinese, "先生贵姓？" [What is your sur name] You will logically answer "姓叶。" [Yap]

It is not logical to answer somebody who asked you in English, "What is your name Sir?" and you answer in Malay, "Nama saya Adbullah Badawi".

Example #2

Chinese has their original Chinese name but because of the influence from the west, we have ‘English’ names too like David, Steven, Patrick, Sohai, etc.

If someone come to me and introduce to me, "I am Mr Wong." Then my brain will logically answer, "I am Mr Yap."

If he come to me and introduce to me, "I am David Wong." Then my brain will logically answer, "I am Sohai Yap" [Given that if I have an English name and it is 'Sohai' in this example]

Example #3

If somebody ask you, "What is your name." You can’t answer, "I like to eat KFC." because the output didn’t linked logically to the output!

If somebody ask you, "How to spell Hishammuddin?" You can’t answer, "Streamyx Sucks!". They don’t link.

The 3 examples above show that ‘Output’ of our brain must be logically linked to the ‘Input’. And our game starts from here.

How To Trick People To Do What You Want Them To Do By Giving Them ‘Choices’

Have you ever wonder why your insurance agent and network marketing friends can always ask you to meet up, even though you really don’t want to go because you know he is going to sell you something?

Because they don’t ask you, "Are you free for supper tonight?" If they do so, your answer can be either – "Yeah, I am free tonight for supper so you can steal my money from my wallet" or 99% of the chance, you will answer, "Oh, I am not free… [I have to wake up early tomorrow] [I have assignments/reports to do] [I have to buy durian for my mother-in-law] [I have period pain] [My gold fish is sick]  …" Most people (including you) are very talented liar.

Power salesman don’t ask you "When are you free for supper"! Power salesman ask, "Are we having supper tonight or tomorrow night?"

—Ka-Chiinnngggg—

Now your brain has to answer logically to the question, unless you are really not free tonight or tomorrow night, your brain will just be figuring out if you are free tonight or tomorrow night. Most of the time, you will just choose the ‘better’ choice out of the 2 given choices, tomorrow night. After answering unwillingly, "I think tomorrow night lar." and hang up. You still wondering why you want to see this guy, whose objective is to take money from you.

The trick here is, if you want someone to do something that you want them to do, give them 2 choices where either one is also what you want!

-Examples-

Your mother may say to you, "Do you want to help sweep the floor or you want to clear the rubbish?" Ka-Chinghhhh, either one is what your mother want you to do. Pick anyone and you fall into her trick.

The Osim salesman who want to sell you uZap asks, "Do you want to pay with credit cards or cash?" or "Do you want the white one or the black one?" [real life examples used by soufulow 10 years ago when he is a poor Osim salesman]

Your discipline teacher looking at your Beatles hair, "Do you want me to cut it for you or you want to cut it yourself?"

The ‘choices’ that you give to the victim is very important. In our previous examples, we give them 2 choices where both are what we want. They pick either one, they fall into our trap.

Instead of giving them A or B where both are what you want, you can give them A or B where A is what you want them to choose while B is an extremely ridiculous and awkward choice that doesn’t make any sense to be chosen, or B as a choice that simply look more terrible and worst than A.

-Examples-

You scare that your son will ask you for RM100 ang pow in the coming Chinese New Year, but you only want to give RM20 so you can save the money for Casino De Genting. You can ask, "Son, do you want RM20 for your ang pow this year or you want RM2?" Kekekeke. RM2 look worst that RM20, or course he will choose RM20!

You go to eat fried mee and the guy ask you, "Do you want 1 egg or 2 eggs?" Then your brain think, "Wow, one egg enough lar, where got people eat 2 one." Then you say one. But you fall into his trap already because what he want is to make sure you include egg to your fried mee so he can charge you 50 cents more. If he has asked you, "Do you want egg?", you may have said no and he will not be able to charge you 50 cents more. This is a ridiculous choice example.

Let’s say a coffin seller want to sell a coffin at a certain price, he will show the buyer 3 coffins. The 1st coffin will be the coffin that the seller want the buyer to buy. The 2nd coffin is same price as the 1st coffin but it looks extremely terrible (made with recycle newspaper by Proton Malaysia). The 3rd coffin is a very expensive coffin but look just the same as the 1st one (Made by Louis Vuitton). The coffin buyer will pick the 1st one because the Proton made coffin is terrible in quality while the Louis Vuitton coffin is scary at price. Both choices look worst then the 1st coffin and don’t make sense to be chosen.

-More Examples-

- Your boss, "Can you finish this for me today or tomorrow?"
(actually you can request to finish by next week)

- Your wife, "Are you going to buy me LV or Prada?"
(actually you can request to buy a cheaper Guess bag or a pasar malam pirated LV)

- Your husband, "Do you want to do it on the sofa or the kitchen?"
(actually you can choose not to do it, or do it in the car)

Continue Reading »

3 hours more to go for 2008! Remember that the Barisan Nasional government has promised us that petrol price will not be increased anymore this year. They kept their promise! But please me reminded that tomorrow will be next year! They didn’t promise us anything in 2008.

Happy 2008 with higher petrol price!

—

p/s Why it is boring to read newspaper and listen to what politicians have to say? Today they say, "People, don’t speculate on the petrol price as we will not increase it anytime soon". Tomorrow they will say, "Petrol price increases 40 cents per litre …" That’s newspaper. That’s politician. That’s Najib.

Hmmm, but I still don’t think they are brave enough to increase the petrol price before election. But why everyone is queuing up at the petrol stations right now? Hmm, Hmmmm, Hmmmmmmm …. confused…

I am writing about myself. But I want you to see if you can link it to yourself and other people, so you can learn. I hope reading this is better than reading newspaper!

Soufulow described that I have 2 characteristics, which interesting enough, contradict with each other! But both are true at the same time!

#1 – Stubborn! Never Listen and Always Think That I Am Right!

He said that I am stubborn and never listen and that I think I am the smartest people on earth. That I think I am always right, always instruct and teach people what to do and never listen to other people.

#2 – Keep On Changing! Today Say This, Tomorrow Say Another Thing!

Haha. This is fun. First I am said to be stubborn, now I am always changing. Soufulow say today I ask him to invest in real estate, tomorrow I ask him to do options trading, and the next day I ask him to invest in the stock market.

I find this very interesting too, so which is the correct description for me?! The stubborn and never listen one? Or the keep on changing one? Both sounds right and both sounds wrong! I am confused!

After thinking and thinking and thinking, I finally get my answer.

We can ONLY think the BEST we can think using all the KNOWLEDGE and EXPERIENCE we have at THAT MOMENT of time.

• You can’t ask a Standard 3 kids to do calculus because at that moment of time, his knowledge and experience only allow him to do basic math.
• You can’t ask Soufulow to describe how does sex feel when he is Standard 6 because his knowledge and experience of sex at that moment of time was just some porn video and magazine (龙虎豹). Of course, he has no problem teaching you how to da fei kei (masturbate) at that time.
• If you have never been to a place that is freaking cold (something like negative 40 Celsius) and the coldest weather you have experience is just the kindergarden-level-cold of Genting Highland, you may never be able to describe or even imagine how to live in negative 40 celcius. You may wonder will your pee become ice immediately when it come out? Will you dick freeze when you pee?

So, I figure out how my brain works.

In my life, especially the pass 5 years, I have been constantly learning, reading over 200 books, accumulated a lot of knowledge and life experience.

At one previous moment of my time, I think I should put all my money in real estate to generate rental income for me. At that moment, I think real estate is the best investment. (keyword – At That Moment) Because at that moment, my knowledge and experience are limited only to real estate. And I have experience from my parents that the stock market is very risky and buying stocks is nothing but gambling.

So at that moment of time if I am blogging, I will tell you how good real estate investing is and why you should put all your money in it.

And if someone come and tell me, at that moment of time, that real estate is not the best and I should invest in the stock market, you will see me in mode #1 – Stubborn and Never Listen. I will probably responded with, “Don’t be Sohai lar, stock market where can play one!”

At that moment of time, my knowledge and experience only allow me to think real estate is the best. Everything else that come contracting with my believe will be rejected.

Fortunately, I am really not that stubborn. I have another important characteristic called OPEN MINDED and a gifted skill known as THE ABILITY TO INVESTIGATE.

If you tell me me the stock market is good, and after scolding you as a sohai, I will actually get curious about the stock market. I am curious because I am open minded. If I am really a stubborn ass hole, I will shut my brain off and reject everything in fully automated mode (you will see lots of people like this).

When I get curious, I will start to investigate and think, “Why the heck he say stock market is good?”, “Why my mum and dad burn their fingers (actually the hands, legs and hairs) in the stock market and he can still say it is good?”

The guy who told me the stock market is good planted a seed into my brain. Then there might be a few more guys come to tell me the same thing! They are watering the seed and it grows in my brain. I became more and more curious and I started to investigate more and more.

I usually learn by reading. So I started to read, 1 book, 2 books, 3 books …. 20+ books!

AT THAT MOMENT OF TIME, after reading 20 books, my knowledge and experience are totally different than that moment that I tell the whole world real estate is the best!

After my investigation on the matter, I change my believe and dump the “real estate is the best” believe and replace it with “stock market is the best”. That’s why what I am blogging now is about stock market and not real estate.

So am I stubborn or constantly changing? You can’t fit me into either one because I am both!

If I encounter new things and after investigation, I think my old believe is better, then I will stick with the old believe and reject the new knowledge. Not only that it never becomes part of me but it also helps strengthened what I am believing right now!

On the other hand, if after investigation, I think the new knowledge is actually better than my existing one, I will not hesitate to dump my old believe and replace it with the new one!

I am ready to change any second if I find something better to replace my old believe. And I will be stubborn enough to reject everything that after my investigation, didn’t sounds better than what I have already known.

This is the correct description of me. My ability to investigate determine whether I should be stubborn or changing.

If you come to me today and tell me value investing sucks and I should trade like playing in BursaPursuit because the #1 winner grow his RM250,000 to RM1 million in less than 2 months (400%!) and I sucks because I can only compound my money 20% per year, do you think I will be stubborn or changing?

People Who Doesn’t Have The Ability To Investigate and Change Frequently

If you look at most aunties, you will notice that they change very frequently. Today she listen to this aunty says tomato is good, tonight she cook all-tomato-dinner for her husband and children – tomato rice, tomato soup, tomato dessert, tomato juice … yucks …

They are too open minded! They don’t investigate much before they accept new things. And these group of people will easily fall into SCAM and the hand of the marketing guys.

• He believes that Maxis is really giving him 500 free SMS is he forwards the message to 10 of his friends!
• He believes that Friendster and Hotmail is really too crowded and will delete his account if he didn’t forward that message to 15 of his friends!
• He believes that someone really want to borrow his bank account to transfer 5 million US Dollar and in return give him 5% commission!

While you may be laughing on these and tell me that only sohai will fall for these and you are not one of them, what about these -

• Do you believe that drinking milk will give you more calcium? Do you believe on what Anlene says, “2 cups of Anlene will give you the calcium you need a day”? (两杯Anlene给你一天所需要的钙质) What if I tell you that the more milk you drink, the more calcium you will lose! Wow!
• Do you believe that cancer is a disease that kill? What if I tell you cancer is a CURE that heal instead of kill and cancer patients should thank God that thay have cancer? Wow!
• Do you think eating fruits after your dinner is good for your digestion? What if I tell you eating fruits after your FOOD is actually bad for your digestion? Wow!

Are you open minded enough? Do you have the ability to investigate? At this moment of time, your knowledge and experience may be telling you that drinking milk will give you more calcium (so you drink more), cancer is something that kill (so you should hate it), fruit is good for digestion (so you should eat more papayas after your dinner).

At this moment of time, you may think milk is the best source of calcium, so you drink it yourself. You also force your innocent child to drink it and you force your old mum to drink it! You are not wrong, because at this moment of time, your knowledge and experience tell you that it is right and that’s the best.

In the next few posts, when I start to plant a seed on your brain and tell you the other way, you will have more knowledge to allows you to think differently. And that, will depends on whether you are open minded and have the ability to investigate, and the conclusion of your investigations.

People Who Is Not Open Minded

If the first group of people is the people who don’t have the ability to investigate and thus keep on changing (and keep on being conned and fall into marketing gimmicks), who is the second group?

The second group are those who are stubborn ass hole who are not willing to change and always think that they are right. They don’t need to investigate because they don’t even open up their mind! Instead of accepting everything, they accept nothing. They think they already know everything they need to know. They are very ego-type. They probably think they are the God or the Prophet. They always want to teach people what to do and how to do and will never listen. Terrorist is the extreme example, they kill with the name of God.

Worst! Sometimes even when everything prove that they are wrong, they still refuse to admit it and still want to say that they are right and others are wrong! Politicians do that all the time! Hishammuddin and Nazri do that all the time! Most of the time they realized that what they have said should not have been said, but because they have said it, they will need to stubbornly keep their old stand.

Referring back to the phase “We can ONLY think the BEST we can think using all the KNOWLEDGE and EXPERIENCE we have at THAT MOMENT of time”, if one is not open minded, his thinking will always be limited to his limited knowledge and experience at that time. Since he never learn new things, he never growth. That moment of time will be a long moment of time because he is almost the same all the time.

• A smoker will smoke until maybe he has lung cancer. His knowledge and experience tell him smoking is OK for decades. But when he got lung cancer, his experience change dramatically and so he can change almost immediately now. If he is open minded and start investigating at the good and bad about smoking, he may have more chances to quit smoking earlier. (Smoking not only burn holes in your lung but also burn holes in your wallet and make Barisan Nasional rich!)
• Do you think homosexual is a sin and bad? This is what his knowledge and experience at that moment of time tell him so. (Religion? School education?) If he is really open minded and investigate into the matter, he may find out that homosexual is not even a choice! If you are a guy and you feel ’something’ when you look at a sexy woman, it is not a choice! it is your body reaction because of your genetics and hormones. Whether you want to do something (sex, rape …) is a choice but the initial feeling is not a choice! For a gay man, he don’t feel that ’something’ when he see a sexy woman BUT he feel that ’something’ when he see a sexy man! It is not a choice! He can choose not to engage in homosexual acts BUT he can never choose to feel ’something’ when he see a woman instead of a man. He is born like that.
• Do you think prostitution should be banned? Read my post on Prostitution. Read the comments as well for examples of people that is not open minded enough and want to kick my ass without any supporting facts other than some bible clause or telling me ‘Malaysia is a Muslim country’.

Understand the phase “We can ONLY think the BEST we can think using all the KNOWLEDGE and EXPERIENCE we have at THAT MOMENT of time” can gives us 2 different ways to look at the differences of religions.

#1. A religion fanatic (someone crazy with his own religion) may grow up his whole life knowing and practicing only 1 religion. All his knowledge and experience are limited to 1 religion and he might not be open minded enough to learn about other religions. Not only that he think his religion is the best but he also think that his religion is the ONLY ONE that is right. Other religions are just wrong, wrong, wrong. With this kind of thinking, how much room can he gives to other religion?

#2. If he knows that everyone can only think the best they can think with all the knowledge and experience they have at that moment of time, EVEN if his religion is REALLY the best and the true one in the world, he should be able to understand and accept that someone else might also think that their religion is the best and not his. Because for that man, his knowledge and experience limited him to think that his religion is the best and not yours! You are able to pick the right religion because your knowledge and experience are better than him. You will be more open minded and can accepts other religions to co-exist with yours.

If you are not open minded, you will not even want to investigate on things, which means you will never grow and never learn new things. Finance, health, relationship, spirituality … we all have our best at any moment of time with all our accumulated knowledge and experience and we can only do our best using what we know at that moment of time.

As we are still living, we will be constantly growing and we will encounter more knowledge everyday and gain new experience everyday. And you, have to decide if you want to be like the aunties who keep on changing frequently without investigating, or the politicians who are stubborn and never listen, or you want to be an open minded person who has the ability to investigate on new knowledge and decide whether you want to keep your old believes or replace it with the better one.

You should also be able to understand why some other people are so different than you because that’s what the best they can do, with their knowledge and experience at that moment of time.

Disclaimer

Today when I look at myself yesterday, I laugh at myself as being so stupid yesterday. I can’t believe I can be so stupid thinking that way just a day before. And tomorrow, I will laugh at myself being so stupid today!

I am constantly learning and growing everyday. Today what I write is the best I can think of Today (using my limited knowledge and experience accumulated up to today), tomorrow I will have new knowledge and experience that I will decide which one to take in as part of me and which one to reject stubbornly. So funny enough, my blog should have a disclaimer!

Take your own RISK if you read AhYap’s blog because he changes so fast that he may not think the same tomorrow! You understand that you might run the RISK of Brain Damage if you read on this blog. Read at your own RISK! Be open minded and investigate all the information yourself before you accept anything AND please don’t kick my ass just because I write something that contradict with your religion, because I am still not as smart as you leh!

After finding out that AhYapSucksDamnALot, my buddy Soufulow has quickly designed an Ah Yap Sucks T-Shirt for me! Wahahaha.

You are just an ignorant bugger who prefers to criticize your country than to do something about it. If you are so smart, go and work in TM! But I don’t think that you are one. Stop comparing your country with Singapore, for goodness sake! It is a small country, and it is much easier to handle! and maybe i will try to start a ‘AhYapSucksADamnLot” t-shirt business. Sucker.

I receive this kind of comments a lot. AhYap.com has a lot of fans and at the same time a lot of haters! As I have said before, I have my own stand on things and that’s why people either like me or hate me a lot.

But for this guy, I find his comment very interesting. If TM sucks and I need to work at TM, then I also need to work at Proton, MAS and also the PRIME MINISTER office and Sammy Vellu office! I also need to work at the traffic department, the flood department, the police department … … since I need to fix all the things that sucks in Malaysia.

Singapore is better because it is smaller? Then why the heck USA that has 300 million people is also better than our tiny 24 million population country? And TM, MAS and Proton (the company) should be a lot smaller than Singapore (the country) and why TM cannot do better than the overall Singapore? Blaming the size is lame. In Chinese we say, “Blaming the floor is too hard when your can’t shit”.

And lastly, starting AhYapSucksADamnLot T-Shirt business show that your don’t have the common sense and economic sense. How much money can you make from that? You can’t even cover your printing cost on it! Someone print the Streamyx Sucks T-Shirt elsewhere and have over 30 preorders even before he print the T-Shirt. And that make sense.

What Malaysian do most of the time is to avoid the truth, the painful truth, the fucking truth!

“It’s OK if Singapore is better than us because they are smaller. And we are better than Nigeria!”

“We can’t fixed the flood and traffic jam, let’s fixed AirAsia sexy uniform.”

“Let’s blame Anwar Ibrahim for everything.”

The truth is, big or small, you have to improve your country! The truth is, easy or hard, you have to work on the flood and traffic jam issues! The truth is, Anwar Ibrahim is not God, he is just an ordinary man.