(Sojai Series) Sojai #1 – The Give Me 1 Ringgit Sojai
Aug 12th, 2007 by AhYap
Sojai is different than Sohai. Sohai are normal people with normal brain but do stupid stuff. Sojai do weird stuff because their brain already got some wiring problem. So here means ‘crazy’ or ‘insane’ and jai means ‘kid’. Sojai that are serious will be locked up in Hospital Tanjung Rambutan or Hospital Tampoi.
This series is not to look down on them but is for laugh only because I can’t understand why there are so many sojai near my house! You will be amazed.
Sojai #1 is a happy sojai. He calls every man God-Father (义父) and every woman God-Mother (义母). If he sees you he will come to you and says, “God Father, give me 1 ringgit.” (义父，俾一文我). Then after he get his 1 ringgit, he will run to a nearby grocery store to buy 2 cigarettes. He will immediately start smoking one and stuck the other one to his ear. He will then walk like the king on the street enjoying every buff.
He will shit anywhere when he wants to shit. He will just pull down his pants and shit. There is a kind of firecracker that look like a match. You scratch it and throw it away and it will explode in a few seconds, something like a grenade. And one time when this sojai is shitting happily, some naughty kid lighted up the firecracker and threw it under his ass. The firecracker exploded and he jumped up like a rocket!
My father never gives him money because if you give him once, he will come to you everyday. But even if you don’t give him money, he will still come to you occasionally. And what surprise us is last week, when he come to my dad again, he didn’t say,”God father, give me 1 Ringgit.”
Instead, he said, “God father, give me 50 cents.” Wow! After so many years, he finally realized my father will not give him 1 ringgit and he is now offering my father 50% discount to hope that my father will change his mind. He is getting smarter and using psychology on us!
There are more sojai stories that I will be writing, such as the ‘fuck you sojai’, the ‘I am useless sojai’, the ‘lottery sojai’ and a lot more. And they all stay near and wander near my house.
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yap, there is another one sojai walking horizontally like a crab, hand is out and asking for $$, me and lao low pay him before, he has been near around town area for more than 10 years, we wonder how he bath and take dinner… any comment?
That walking-like-crab guy seems to be missing suddenly. They say he take the money to find prostitute. I think his brain is ok, is just his body is not ok.
Sojai #1 isn’t a real sojai actually. He is smarter than us because he asking for money everywhere. Some more, he give your dad 50% discount when asking money from your dad. Sometimes, peoples will ask (or the Sojai #1 ask himself in mind), who is the real sohai? Haha…
hahahaa…my mom always gives him just to get rid of him…he is so dirty..otherwise he’ll linger around topless